Ads.

Don't you like how they keep putting "Al Gore," "find your carbon footprint," and "go green" ads on my page?! So funny, like they see certain key words, and then run with it.
They seem to be missing the context clues:
"Al Gore" is a moron.
Don't even worry about "your carbon footprint" because it's a bunch of melarkey (sp?).
I am so not "going green."

I miss the "Manolo Blahnik sale" ads. Let's try to bring those back: Manolo Blahnik, Manolo Blahnik, Manolo Blahnik, Manolo Blahnik, Manolo Blahnik...

PS: In case you're wondering, I put those ads up about a month ago, and am now rollin' in the dough. $1.29 to be exact. One dollar and twenty-nine cents! Really? Guess I won't quit my day job. Yet.
(Hey, everyone, click it [over on the left], and let's see if I can't hit TWO WHOLE DOLLARS!)

Working Saturdays sucks.

Now that I am in marketing, I rarely have to work on the weekends anymore (and may I just say, 'hallelulia!' to that).
But, this weekend, because of yet another 'promotion' (doesn't it cease to be a 'promotion' when it happens every couple of months? I mean, anniversaries and birthdays are so special because they are so rare. 'Promotions' at work should follow suit. What's special about every two months, I ask you? What?!) I have to work Saturday.
I know, I should be grateful that it has become such a burden, a rare occasion, that it is so annoying and out-of-the-ordinary. But, I am not. Instead, I am dreading my weekend. If you can actually call it that.
Working on Saturday is the pits.
That's it. I am wearing running shoes and jeans. And a polo shirt. That'll show 'em.

Weather with a twist.

I happened to catch TXA 21 news weather tonight. Yeah, not usually an avid local news watcher (even though that was my major in college, go figure), but I did get a kick out of their graphics.
I tried to find this online (well, I didn't try that hard, really) but had no luck.
Basically, a normal weather forecast. But the title! The title is "FUTURESKY." I understand, no, I really get it. It's the "future" of the "sky."
But all I could think was, "Futureski..." What is it, polish*?

* I could have missed my nationality reference, but I don't think so. Futureski. Sounds polish to me.

What's happening?

I guess this girl is supposed to be promoting a curling iron and a straitener... But, what I see is a great battle between EVIL and EVIL. This is like the "Clash of the Titans" of EVIL. EVIL's going down.

I love the DSO!

I went to the Dallas Symphony Orchastra last night and saw Midori, a fabulous violinist.
With Midori, they played Brahms' Concherto in D major for Violin and Orchestra, Op. 77, which was amazing. It reminded me of the music from the film "The Age of Innocence" in tone.
The DSO also played Siegfried Idyll by Wagner, which was lovely. It was a birthday gift to his wife, and he had small symphony play it for her at their lake-side home. Aww, how sweet.
But, perhaps my favorite was Symphony No. 2 by Rouse. A-maz-ing. It was violent and cacophonous, but in a strong and good way. I can't describe it. It was like an emotional journey that had very distinct parts throughout.
It was such an incredible show! If you haven't gone in a while, I highly recommend it! It's like you can feel your soul expanding, and it stops fitting inside your body.

Gavin Degorgeous

Georgia and I went to the Gavin Degraw concert at the House of Blues this week... And can I just say I knew I loved him, but I did not know I was in love with him until the show. What an amazing performer! He played the piano, guitar, and sang. He also happens to be completely manly and handsome! We had so much fun! Thanks, Mom and Bob, for the tix!

George and me post-Degraw... Oo-la-la he was delightful!

Oww!

I gotta say, going to the dentist is just no fun. I went yesterday, having forgotten (read: blocked out) previous dental visits.
So, that metal scrapy thing is just awful. It sent so many shivers down my spine that I just laid there, squirming.
And I know she was just doing her job, but that lady dug the hell outta my mouth! She was all, "oh, have you had a cleaning lately? Your teeth are really clean..." as she stabbed my gums and scraped my enamel (it sounded like she was scraping off tooth). I wonder what it's like for someone who doesn't have pretty clean teeth. Ooo, I just don't want to think about it.
And then, that buzzy rubber cleaner. I don't even want to go there. It is exactly like fingernails on a chalkboard, in my mouth. And the gritty "mint" flavored polish? In what country does that taste like mint?!
Anywho, my teeth are clean, my gums are inflamed from extreme flossing, and I had to pre-book my next visit so that I am locked in and can't chicken out later.

OBAMAWEEN

This explains his "dead eyes..."
Pretty funny, pretty darn.

TV mirrors life, once again in the form of 'Seinfeld'

I saw this episode again (amazingly the second episode ever-- awesomely good from the get-go) and it is just UNCANNY how much Jerry and Elaine are like David and me. Pretty much their entire interaction in each of these three scenes is us. I totally bet David has had JERRY'S EXACT THOUGHTS at least 100 times while I am fouling up his game. Hahaha! Platonic relationships... Gotta love 'em.

My Quiz from QuizYourFriends.com

Your Maigen IQ 1) What is "my color?" pink teal purple black

Powered By: QUIZYOURFRIENDS.com Make A Quiz - Take This Quiz - View Scoreboard

Thanks, Rachel Z!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NyvqhdllXgU&feature=bz303
SOOOOOO true! Listen to this guys, it is craz-y!
Howard Stern asked people on the street if they support Obama's policies (and gave specific examples of MCCAIN'S policies, citing them as Obama's). The Obama supporters in this piece are strongly pro-life, feel that we should keep the troops in Iraq, do not support stem-cell research, and are excited to have good old SP as VP. Ummm... guys?!?

Here you go, Mel:

This is my cute old friend, Brad. He wore those hats like Orlando is wearing in that pic, and his hair is fabulously curly when it grows out. I always told him he looked like Orlando. Close enough for you? Is the british accent a requirement?
Aww, I miss my friends! He is in Cali now... He could be married, for all I know. But, he has a twin. Perhaps you can marry one of these guys instead of O.Bloom?

Pretty close, eh?

Pretty funny.

I wonder if this is helping his campaign.

Do you think Obama approved this ad? I saw it while online tonight. I kind of think he probably doesn't care about his supporters' underwear habits. And neither do I. Nor do you, nor you, nor you. I mean, who thought this was a good idea? People are so dumb.

Cyndi Lauper would be proud...

Or possibly, she would throw up in her mouth. Depends on how much she regrets her speckled fashion past. (Although, I saw good old CL on "Kathy Griffin: My Life on the D List," and she seems to still be truckin' along...)

If only I had an extra $660 sitting around...

Oh, Katie. Do you need to sit down a while?

Perfect for if you are parachuting into your second wedding. (I was wondering what you would wear on that occasion...)

Hey, "Zero-Impact Guy," take a look at this...

This post may bore you. Or tick you off. (See my "PPS" at the very bottom if you need a little warm fuzzy before you begin.)
Here is a documentary showing many scientists and academics (the ones who aren't being paid by grants from certain bureaucrats involved in money-grabbing schemes perpetrated by the 'Global Warming' theory) disclaiming the truth of 'Global Warming' and Al Gore's "Inconvienient" Lie. Ahem, "Truth."

1. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HY4RhcJ1NtQ
2. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B7u8e5A0DnA
3. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8ZULyCGPgvk
4. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tPPhUElbSjE
5. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fb0lF8-z4sY
6. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZuAodk4VTCo
7. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gmOFJLeGVVc
8. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1JtL2lBwSjg
9. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jv4pLlVLYb8
10. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dsZqoOqe0Sc

It's long... but just go through (in order 1-10) for many surprising facts, studies, and common sense that has been overlooked in favor of ill-founded guesses and mistakes.
I'm just going to be more than a little ticked if I am forced by the government (in a supposed FREE COUNTRY) to reduce my insignificant and ridiculously overrated "carbon footprint" or else BUY CREDITS!?! WTF!?
Here's about as good an idea as the idiotic, politically-bought-off, fact-ignoring "scientists" of "Global Governance" have had: how about we just exterminate every other person on the earth, and that way they won't be breathing and emiting CO2 anymore*? Great idea, huh? Freak, that's about what it is going to come to. (Especially when certain socialists take control in the near future).
Oh, and I am so not "going green." I'm all about conserving, but this fad is driving me nuts. (It's no different than the "Harry Potter," "Twilight," "SUV," "Guitar Hero" trends. It's like the whole country just goes nuts for something, and then it is like you SUCK if you don't want to participate.)
I think that if someone can afford to cool their apartment below government-regulated temps, drive their car more than the government-regulated miles/week, etc, they should be able to do so (sounds nuts, but you just wait 2 years, check this blog again, and see if I'm not slightly clairvoyant). That is what our government was founded on, capitalism, working hard and being rewarded for that work (not paying for other peoples' healthcare), and the freedom to choose your destiny and lifestyle.
PS: Recycling en masse was started in the 80's (I think, maybe early 90's) to create jobs in a struggling economy. The only one that is really productive is aluminum recycling.
Paper recycling creates barely any reusable resources, and the by-products in air-pollution are actually pretty substantial. The chemicals emitted are worse for the environment than the paper that would pile up in landfills.
Plastic recycling does not really produce any reusable plastic, instead it just compacts the plastic into big plastic cubes. Which are then stored.
Oh, and the rainforests are "disappearing" most rapidly in South America to make room for corn, for ethanol.
And, in case you don't watch the videos (but I highly recommend you do, just to hear the other side of the story that you NEVER see in the media), the Polar Bears are actually flourishing. Only one of something like 9 (or 11?) populations in the region Al Gore is so worried about has had a decline in numbers. The rest have actually all remained the same, or grown. Huh.

I just wish that the media would show both sides of the facts. People don't even know they have a choice about the "Global Warming" issue. They just take it as truth because they have not been shown all the info, and they can't make a choice without having that. At least these videos begin to touch on the 'tip of the ice-berg.' Pun intended.

*I am not condoning killing every-other, or ANY person to reduce their "carbon-footprint."

PPS: Not trying to offend you guys, several of my friends disagree with me on this issue. And I still love y'all. And I'm not saying you have to agree with me, because that would make me as bad as the politicians I am poli-ticked at. I just don't think that many people know about the things that are shown in these videos.

Pump up the jam

Me to Georgia one Saturday afternoon in our apartment: "If somebody's not playing the tuba out there, I will be seriously surprised."

Georgia: "Why would somebody be playing the tuba? There's no way that is what that noise is."

And we peeked through the blinds...

Cotton Candy Man

Night. Ext. BYU/TCU football game.

Me: Look at that strange, nasty spider-string floating in the air over there.
Erin: I think it's cotton candy.
Me: Oh, that guy's catching it.
Erin: He's examining it.
Me & Erin (almost in unison): He ATE it!?!!
(Explosive laughter)

End scene.

A miracle has occurred.

I filled up my gas tank for less than $30 today! Yep, $2.45/gallon. At Costco. Now I have the money for that surgery I've been saving up for. Just kidding.

And, isn't it sick that I am excited about $2.45/gallon?! I wish you could hear my impression of an old lady and see me hunched over with my invisible cane, "why I remember when gas was 97 cents a gallon, young lady!"

Project Runway

Okay, okay, so no one likes Kenley on 'Project Runway.' They all think she's a brat. I actually think she's a pretty awesome designer, disregarding the Astrological Puffy-Sleeve Dress I blogged about before.


Anywho, I thought her wedding and bridesmaid's dresses were a-maz-ing:
But, the judges said her wedding dress looked like an Alexander McQueen silhouette from his Fall '08 line. Umm, I actually don't think she pirated that look, but there are some (teensy, tiny) similarities:

The shape! The feathers! The layering!

The length! The idea! The dress!

Like I said, only slight similarities... :S

Free Credit Report Guy

Dude, I will beat your a...

Get this...

I was talking to this guy today, who isn't mormon, but I guess knows a lot of us. And, apparently, his wife and he have a mo co-worker, who is their friend. So, his wife went into the mormon girl's office, and, seeing the wedding picture of the girl and her hubs in front of the "huge, gorgeous church," said, "oh, Sarah! I didn't know you were married at Disneyland!" :)
I guess she thought the temple was Cinderella's Castle. She was pretty embarrassed. But, how awesome is that? The temple is similarly magical and beautiful. I can understand the mistake.

8-inchers?

http://online.wsj.com/article/SB122394215518830965.html?mod=yhoofront
Click on this.
I like my high heels. But I draw a line at 6 inches. Well, right now I do. I guess we'll all see.

Thanks Alyssa, for the article link!

Warning: girl in her underwear

If this is your outfit:

Doesn't a watch seem a bit superfluous?

Pantyhose for men?!

First of all, I'd like to thank Jared for sending me this link.
Second of all, I'd like to warn all the men that may stumble across this post (or this product) and decide that perhaps they ought to participate in this "trend" that I will find you (by somewhat telepathic means, as I believe my FMOTW radar will naturally hone in on man-tights without effort). And you will get it. And I don't mean a week in the lap of luxury, either.
http://forums.hornfans.com/php/wwwthreads/showflat.php?Cat=&Board=cactuscafe&Number=5741872&page=0&view=collapsed&sb=5&o=0&fpart

Not okay.

Why do I love Tim Gunn so much?!

Well, aside from a keen fashion eye, impeccable taste in everything, and a personality that just won't stop (and disregarding a certain penchant for wearing over-sized pinstriped suits, which I am sure his costumer insists on his wearing because of certain network-endorsed labels), he bears a striking, older, gayer, resemblance to one of my bff's. Jase, meet yourself, in 30 years (and after a change in sexual orientation).

Handed my head on a silver platter

Okay, so Jared asked me to elaborate on my "book being ripped to shreds" last week.
So, the first time I read (two Wednesdays ago), I was pleasantly surprised (read: elated) to receive such high praise from several published authors (and one who has a movie deal).
They said my writing was "beautiful," "insightful," and that I was "a very talented writer."
Of course, it wasn't all fabulous. There were several mentions that I needed to bring the plot in sooner, that I was busy "world building" and doing deep character studies and needed more action right off the bat.
These were things I knew they would say. Things I was already planning on fixing. I know my writing tends to veer off into the poetic and stylistic, ignoring the action and dialogue.
Last week was quite different, however. No more excitement about an interesting young writer.
It was more, "you read that about as bored as you want us to feel," and "nothing seems to happen to your characters aside from going on dates," and "we thought something was about to happen to him, and were excited, and then it fizzled, and... nothing."
I was trying to read really slow, because I tend to speed through. So, I sounded super-bored, I guess. So much for my broadcast journalism training. I guess I didn't sell it at all.
And, once again, I guess my book's plot is too slow-coming, over-analyzed, and under-exciting. But, things do happen. Sometimes they are big, but sometimes they are just things that would happen in real life, and then I show the effects of those things on my characters.
Hmmm... I definitely need to work on it, but I actually think "The Anticool" will probably always be too much about relationships and too little about huge events. Oprah, I hope you like the emotional uncertainty of twenty-something non-conformists.

Picture Tag

Rules: Post the 4th picture in the 4th folder in your pictures folder. Then give a brief description before you tag a few others.

This is me on a visit to Park City, UT in 2005, before I moved there. I was spending the day with Rach, and shortly after this photo was taken we met a random motor-cycle gang on the street and had our pic taken with them, too. They were bad-a!

And, right up that hill was the apartment of georgeous Australian Brett, who was my vacation flirtation. We watched "The Sixth Sense," and right after the kid says "I see dead people," he turned to me, and with his amazing accent says "I see dead people?" and kissed me for the first time. So romantic, right? Haha! But, wow, he was a babe...

Tag, you're it!

I keep thinking about...

So, after my super-duper-long "tagged" posts, and the possibility of the loss of most of my readers as a result, I waited to see if anyone I "tagged" would be just as bored as I was, and fill the darn things out.
My astute (and bored-that-day) friend Alison had one answer in particular (to "8 things you've learned from your past") that has been on my mind all week:
"Never make someone a priority in your life when you are only an option in theirs."
I SO do that. All the time. Wow, I gotta stop.
It's like, at what point does "loving your neighbor" and "being a good friend" turn into "being a doormat," or "being too available," or "being an option?"
Food for thought. Which is an expression that has always bewildered me. Is that even right?

Who doesn't need a new bag?

Especially a free one? Go here. Sign up. They are having drawings every hour on October 15th for free handbags! Whoot!
Thanks, Mel!

Sorry everyone, this is gonna be a doozey...

But, since this is the first time I've ever been "tagged," and it was by two friends in two days, and the "quiz thingys" had the same theme, I am going to combine them and just subject you to it. Because you love me.


Gina's Quiz Thingy

8 TV Shows I Love to Watch:

1. Seinfeld
2. Sex and the City
3. Flipping Out
4. Project Runway
5. What Not to Wear
6. It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
7. Law and Order SVU
8. Anthony Bourdain No Reservations


8 Favorite Places To Eat:

1. Jasmine Sushi
2. Tokyo One
3. Chipotle
4. Einstein Bros
5. C-Rolls sushi
6. Noodles & Co
7. Awaji Sushi
8. Indian food restaurants



8 Things That Happened Yesterday:

1. Canvassed for work
2. Met a cute guy
3. Read my book at the DFW Writer's Workshop
4. got my book ripped to shreds in critique
5. read a cool blog by my new friend from DFWWW
6. had a couple of pancakes at 10 pm at IHOP with the DFWWW peeps. Yep, carb overload late at night, that'll help.
7. created a new outfit that was totally fabulous and constructed from old pieces in my wardrobe, made original and fresh
8. talked to Krissy



8 Things I Look Forward To:

1. publishing a book
2. making a movie
3. becoming a minimalist
4. getting out of debt
5. Erin, Meredith, and Jared coming to town next week
6. the new movie "Synecdoche, NY" which I am sure I misspelled
7. a kiss from someone new someday (hopefully sooner than later)
8. a new job



8 Things I Love About Fall:

1. crisp mornings
2. tweed lady hats
3. cooler temps
4. fall smells (pumpkin spice is the #1 scent that arouses males, btw)
5. daylight saving time (the dark, not the sale)
6. hot chocolate
7. cardigans
8. tights



8 Things On My Wish List:

1. Robert Downey, Jr
2. Jeffrey Dean Morgan
3. Adrien Brody
4. Ryan Gosling
5. The Rock
6. Josh Hartnett
7. George Clooney
8. Rodrigo Santoro
9. Jude Law
10. Mark Ruffalo

Just kidding...

1. a great man (he doesn't have to be famous)
2. a bestseller or two
3. a good night's sleep
4. a pretty fall wardrobe furnished by Anthropologie for free
5. a year or two with no work, just travel, everywhere
6. a loft in the 'Southside on Lamar' building downtown, or in NYC, DC, London, or Seattle
7. free law school
8. zero debt



8 People I Tag:

1. Alison
2. Rhia
3. Sam
4. Jana
5. Natalie
6. Kerry
7. Jill
8. Teri



Michelle's Quiz Thingy



8 things I am passionate about...
1. people I love
2. fashion
3. writing
4. politics
5. video production (I am a nerd, yes)
6. fun
7. films/music
8. organization/lists



8 words or phrases I use often:
1. Is there sugar in syrup? Then, yes. (Elf)
2. fabulous
3. Look at you! (Elf)
4. fashion mistake of the week
5. Sorry, salad. (Jim Gaffigan)
6. Buzz, your girlfriend, woof! (Home Alone)
7. Yo, what the dealy-o
8. butt-ugly (yeah, I know, not very nice...)



8 things I have learned from my past...
1. never use credit cards!
2. a blunt bang just doesn't work on me (you know, bangs, like hair... not the "I always appreciate a good bang" type of bangs, you pervert)
3. if it's not going to kill me, or put me in jail, it really isn't that bad
4. pegged jeans are just never okay
5. random make-outs do not replace love
6. Nicolas Cage has no business in a movie, and if I knowingly walk into a NC movie, it is my own darn fault
7. family and friends are really important
8. if a guy is wearing leggings and says he is a dance major (no matter how cute he may be, no matter how much you may want to flirt with him and play the leggings off as more eccentric than gay) don't be shocked if he tries to compete with you for another dude on a plane.



8 places I would love to go see or visit...
1. Africa
2. Italia, esp the Riviera and Rome
3. Greece
4. Tokyo
5. Ireland
6. Paris and the French countryside
7. Australia
8. NYC



8 things I currently need or want...
see above "8 things on my wish list"



8 people I tag...
see above (feel free to do either or both of the lists!)

It's all about me!

Because, what's a blog if not an ego-maniacal outlet? :)

i am: putting off going to sleep
i think: Robert Downey, Gorgeous is about as sexy as they come
i know: the entire Jim Gaffigan "Beyond the Pale" comedy routine
i want: to change a lot of things in my life
i have: amazing family and friends
i wish: i could make up my mind
i hate: romance
i miss: c.r.
i fear: being alone forever
i feel: disappointed by tonight
i hear: cars
i smell: like L.A.M.B.
i crave: kisses like the one in that old Rembrant commercial
i search: the internet for shoes constantly (but only to wish for, no more buying!)
i wonder: if the US is actually going to become a socialist nation
i regret: moving back to Dallas without having worked at a t.v. station in SLC first
i love: walter
i ache: from throwing my neck out
i care: too much
i always: cry when I watch this one scene in "Love Actually"
i am not: decisive
i believe: in the old saying 'honesty is the best policy'
i dance: like britney when no one is watching, but when they are, i seem to have no rhythm, go figure
i sing: all the time
i don't always: make the best use of my time
i fight: using many styles of the martial arts
i write: tragic fiction and comedic non-fiction
i win: one of the biggest prizes at almost every company holiday party
i lose: my out-going-ness the older I get
i never: feel rested
i confuse: love with love
i listen: to "famous blue raincoat" a lot lately
i can usually be found: fashionably dressed
i am scared: of realizing my potential (i psychoanalyzed myself)
i need: one hundred million dollars ;)
i am happy about: being asleep in a few minutes

Copy, paste and rewrite your own answers in your blog. Make sure to leave me a comment so I know to check yours out!

Can somebody pass the Robitussin?

So, my sister has had the dread bronchitis since Saturday. I came home in the middle of the day to find her with a fever of 102, slightly disoriented, and seriously coughy. She has pretty much maintained a fever since then, her coughs are terrible, and basically she is a big old wreck. Here's the crux: by what miracle have I remained healthy (and I know, by writing this I doom myself to wake up sick)? I am always getting sick. So, I don't see how I have lasted this long. Granted, we have spoken by phone some to avoid being in the same room (especially during her high fevers), and I have yet to lick her sippy-cup of Sprite, but it is just confusing. Unless... ah, yes, the body's old 'wait until the weekend when I actually have days off to get sick' routine! I should've guessed...
Oh, and as an aside, I have not recently sung the praises of Nyquil, which is probably the only thing I enjoy about being sick... I almost miss its medicinal cherry flavor, the burn as it goes down, the warm stomach, the instant need to pee, the hazy lazy sleep and mild hangover. Hmm, perhaps it's a good thing I don't drink.

Vitamin "Water"

Can we just call this what it is?

Juice.

Submitted for your approval:

Not that I don't love Conference... I do. I love it. I especially loved President Monson's talk about goals and living your life now. It is just what I needed to hear! (And I especially like re-reading the talks in the 'Ensign' later, because that's when I learn to most.)
But, I have noticed a strong similarity between General Conference and eating massive amounts of turkey.
Maybe it's the pajama pants, the fuzzy blanket, the soothing voices and music, the dim room. I don't know. But, by the second half of each session, I am about two shakes away from falling into a deep relaxing coma. All of my muscles are totally relaxed, my eyelids are heavy, and I start thinking about how watching Conference with a bunch of my single mo peers probably isn't such a good idea because of the inevitable chain of info that will spread throughout my ward about my ultra-loud snoring during said Conference. Luckily, I have yet to actually fall asleep during one of these sessions. But, it can only be a matter of time.

Bad Bad BAD

I have seen at least four teenagers (mostly girls) wearing these. Boat shoes. So ugly! Though, I couldn't find the exact pair online. I am sure it is some cheap-o juniors brand like BC or Sketchers or something. Picture these shoes, but the leather is the grey of, well, the closest thing I can think of is a dead person (thank you, "Law and Order!"), with navy-ish (but not quite navy, not quite grey, it's not really committed to any color) flannel panels on the side, and usually with the back folded under the lazy ignoramus' heel. I am so glad to not be a teenager right now. All of their trends are so butt-ugly.

In my search for the boat-shoes, I saw some shoes that, if worn, would certainly make the boat-shoe-wearer my best friend in fashion by comparison.

These are called "hobbit shoes." Oh, yes, because looking like a hobbit is the ultimate goal.

Looking like a hobbit might be only slightly less desirable than looking like an elf:

These monstrosities look like what a snake-person from the planet Zolton would be wearing if its ship crash-landed on the fictional Earth of "Bladerunner:"

The only thing that makes me feel slightly better about these disgusting paper-bag-esque slip-ons is that they also come in "Republican." Wait, no, I take that back. I don't want "Republican" associated with such ugly shoes!

These make me throw up a little. Not only are they hideous (they are canvas, with tan leather). Not only do they totally offend my delicate sensibilities. They look like an old smoker's upper lip. Sorry for the gross image. And that toe-hole is way too big. It's not a "peep-toe," it's an "in-your-face-toe." It would be all toes. Ick.

Don't let any of these shoes too close to yours. Their stink might wear off.

Watch this!

Family Guy's MC Escher music video
Love it! And it's only like 10 seconds long. Which means you won't waste too much life on it.

For your viewing pleasure...

Georgia said that she was surprised I did not include a pic of The Rock all dressed up on "Get Smart" in that movie post... So, I looked for a pic. And, then I found two... And, then I couldn't stop...

Behold. Now, this man can wear a suit...

D'Arcy, I know you hated the movie, but come on, girl, you gotta give it to me that he is fiiinnnnne...

I like this one just because you can see his big tatoo.

What?

Oh, you said you needed to shed the jacket so we can appreciate the man-meat underneath in its second-degree glory. (First degree would have required a top-less scene, which may not have worked in this movie.)

Thank you, Dwayne. Thank you.