Michelin man ain't got nothin' on me

Today, at work (in a very shady, windy, freezing canopy where I sat for hours freezing my proverbial bullocks off) I wore:

• White camisole over classic white wrap top
• Nice brown tweed trousers (lined, but now I realize that a silky lining in pants can actually make you colder)
• cute peacock blue Audrey-Hepburn-esque swing jacket
• great orange coral and brass accessories
• brown on brown polka-dot trouser socks
• ballet flats with bow and bronze toe
• funky Betsy Johnson frilly girl sunglasses...
• orange suede gloves with tassels at wrists

And that's exactly where the cute ends...

Add:

• my "Fargo" hat (which is cool in its own right, perhaps not with the rest of the ensemble)
• my brown thick jacket with fur-lined hood (hood UP)
• my really oversized, hideous, keep-it-in-the-trunk-in-case-of-emergency GAP black puffer coat that could easily fit at least one other person, or as many as TWO Olsen twins, along with me, inside
• another sweater-y coat wrapped around my legs as I sat for extra warmth

I looked like a freak who belonged in, well, Fargo. Except, even with all the millions of layers, I was still freezing. I am still cold. I left work hours ago and have taken a hot shower since then. I think the cold is in my bones.