I've been told that some of you (who shall remain nameless, JARED) are mad at me for not posting anything good lately.
Well, the good stuff in my life is just too darn good to put on here, and everything else is just blah.
Sometime soon I will become funny again, and will start coming up with some new theories. For now, you guys pretty much know all my theories. Patience, my friends. I will be back.
For now, feast your minds on this: today I saw a lady wearing a track suit with really tall, pointy, fancy black pumps. I do not jest. The horror, oh, the horror.
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