"When I Googled this Teyana Taylor person to find out more about her, I learned she has a single called "Google Me." Eerie. I expect to find out that, minutes before I finish typing, she's released a follow-up called "Fug Me," because she's some kind of rapper-psychic.
Although it doesn't take ESP or a crystal ball to know she was going to get it from us for this:
Have you ever been faced with a buffet so sumptuous -- or at least so full of breakfast pastries -- that you were paralyzed from not knowing where to start? That is how I feel right now. Do I begin with the workout pants? The boots, which look like she shot Fozzy Bear after mugging a stripper? Or the understated, tasteful corset? It's a marvel of symbolism: the ruby navel, the gold chain flap dangling slightly north of where her natural-born Google would be... But nothing is quite so achingly subtle as the mammoth bejewelled pseudo-nipples that cover her actual skin-made ones. It's like her Faberge egg hatched and she's getting ready to breast-feed its spawn. This might be my favorite outfit in GFY history. I need at LEAST three in different colors."
The girls at GFY have really outdone themselves this time! And this girl has really outdone most rodeo clowns. I just copied and pasted, because the whole url thing wasn't working for me today. I hope this makes you as happy as it did me! My favorite part may be the Faberge egg reference! (Also, do you notice how her torso appears to be eerily smiling at you? Creepy...)
1 comment:
Wow! That was making me laugh to myself here at work. That, my friend, is what we call a "hot mess." Oh dear heavens!
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