Got bombshell?: My dream job

Tuesday, July 1, 2008

My dream job

So, "Flipping Out" is in a new season...

And seeing it reminded me of my ultimate career aspiration. To replace Jeff Lewis' assistant, Jenni (isn't that her name, the girl who looks like Elaine Benice?) Yes, that is my goal.

Her job as assistant to gay, gorgeous, neurotic, ultra-high-maintanance house-flipper is perfect. She: rides around in a car with him, does some assistant-type stuff, dances and raps when he needs entertainment and tells jokes. And all ON T.V.
Hello! That would be my perfect job! Jeff Lewis: please hire me! Although David and Pauly have told me they will give me a job doing the same things when they start doing real-estate, I'm afraid I just can't wait. Real jobs just aren't for me.

I need to get on staff at least by next season.

So, nothing personal, Jenni, but watch your back. I'm taking you out. (Not in a mafia, cement-boots kind of way, but more like: I might out-joke or out-rap you. I am a really, surprisingly good rapper.)

2 comments:

Unknown said...: Ok, somehow my ultra pop culture knowledge of everything media missed out on this. What is it? I know I would love it. How do I watch it. Is it reality TV or "fake"

I need to know!!; July 2, 2008 at 2:38 PM
Maigen said...: Girl, you would LOVE it! It is one of the funniest shows on t.v. Jeff Lewis is this obsessive-compulsive, high-strung BABE who has this huge staff of people who do nothing. And they are all really funny. It's real. It's on Bravo. You really have to see it!; July 2, 2008 at 7:36 PM

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Pet peeves

The expression "kick (my, your, his, her) trash." You've probably NEVER heard that if you aren't mo. It's akin to "kick (my, your, his, her) butt."
Songs that tell a story (esp. ones that start and end with the same sentence, usually of the country genre)
the phrase "as per usual"
that Nicholas Cage Still has a career, should have ended after "Raising Arizona"
the question "what can I do you for?"
the glare of the sun off cars in mid-day
tights with open-toed shoes
cell phones in public
mis-uses of the words 'there,' 'their,' 'they're' (and similar grammatical errors)
counting new $1 bills

My Favorite Lyrics

"And I find it kind of funny, I find it kind of sad, the dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had..." (from "Mad World by REM)
"Not a day goes by I don't think about you. You left your mark on me it's permanent, a tattoo... Think about you and that long ride, I bite my nails, I get weak inside. Reach over and turn off the light, oh my baby."(from "Right in Time" by Lucinda Williams)
"Moved to the west coast away from everyone, She never told me that you called, Back when I was still, I was still in love"(from "Landed" by Ben Folds)
"Your lip is cut on the edge of her pleated skirt" (from "Blue Alert" by Madeline Peyroux)
"You can't resist her. She's in your bones. She is your marrow, and your ride home." (from "Only in Dreams" by Weezer)
"I feel like a ghost who's trying to move your hands over some ouija board in the hopes I can spell out my name." (from "Invisible Ink" by Aimee Mann)
"I don't need a better thing, I'd settle for less. It's another thing for me, I just have to wander through this world, alone." (from "Lose You" by Pete Yorn)
"I know someday you'll have a beautiful life, I know you'll be the sun in somebody else's sky, why, why, why can't it be mine?" (from "Black" by Pearl Jam)
"I know the last page so well, I can't read the first. So, I just don't start, it's getting worse" (from "Inside of Love" by Nada Surf)
"You can get what you want or you can just get old" (from "Vienna Waits for You" by Billy Joel)