A girl can dream...

Sometimes I wish I had terrible style just so I could go on "What Not to Wear," hang with Stacy and Clinton, and spend their $5000 on clothes in NYC!

Maybe I could fake it? Go to Good Will and buy some pleated, high-waisted, tapered kahkis? Or, what I saw a lady out wearing yesterday: a neon yellow pair of ski overalls, all puffy, with blocks of other primary colors randomly stitched on with a grey cable-knit sweater, and high-heeled construction-boots... Hmmm... Maybe that's a winner.

Morning sucks

Me and 7:45 am are getting to be really good friends. Not my idea. It just lies there, nudging me awake at, well, 7:45 am, when I rarely, if ever, actually have to be up at that time. Every morning. And, I usually roll over, look at it, and fumble some obscene hand gesture or manage to breathe out two letters right in 7:45 am's face, "f...u..."
When I googled "7:45 pic," this came up:
That seems about right...

Weird

I wish I had a picture, but today I saw this guy driving around an old ambulance. It was his normal car. I figured it out because the lettering was all removed, and the driver was smoking a cigarette. But, it was still red, still had lights on top.
Wigged me out. Made me think of some old Nicolas Cage movie where he drives around on some mad bender in an ambulance either killing people or exacting some kind of vigilante justice on people by inflicting his bad acting on them. I didn't see it, but I remember some pieces of it from some rather unfortunate channel surfing or previews or something. Either way, he was green or else everything was lit with fluorescent bulbs in some majorly unflattering overhead lighting.

Old friends...

Lately, I have been lucky to see (and talk to) a few old friends (and no, they are not old, I am the only old person in this post, but the friendships reach back to my teen years) that I haven't seen in a long time.
It has been way fun!
I got to see my fabulous high school friends, Molly and Allison, both at Christmas. Which was rad. I did not have the foresight then to take pictures. I hate it when that happens.
I got to hang out with Krissy and Tyler, also high school friends, last week. Look how stylin' we all are at the Sambuca Jazz Club (yes, this is when I wore those killer shoes):Yesterday I spent a whole hour talking to my college freshman bff, Jennie. I am sad to admit that the pictures of us are so old that they are not even digital. Someday, I will scan those puppies in, or maybe get the negatives transferred onto a cd. Man, I really am old.
This weekend, I get to hang out with my high school friend, Missy, whose normal-sized head by sharp contrast emphasizes the hugeness of my own. Behold:It has been so fun to reconnect with everyone! And, of course, I have gotten to email with several old friends on Facebook lately. That's fun, too, although the book-made-of-faces (or is it the face-that's-a-book?) is a little less fun than sitting around laughing and eating, say, cantaloupe gelato together... Hmm... I think I have a craving.

Update:

Those shoes were actually quite comfortable, and easy to walk in. Bonus!

A lovely day in general

I have been flirting with breaking this 10-pound-mark in my weight loss for a while... It's just been there, taunting me. I finally breached it today!
I have a renewed outlook on my diet now. Plus, everything else is going pretty darn well. My hair is finally growing out, the man situation doesn't suck at all, and work is bearable. 2009 is shaping up to be pretty much 'tha' bomb!' And you know I mean business if I use a term as lame as 'tha' bomb.'
PS: going to a sweet jazz club tonight. Yeah, pretty excited about that, too. My BFF from high school is in town and we are catching up after what feels like forever! Not only that, I am wearing a pair of shoes whose first wear I have been jealously guarding for just such an occasion. They are heaven on earth.

Isn't it the worst?

Do you ever look forward to something, like, all day, and then it happens, only you miss it for an idiotic reason?
I hate when that happens.

Today, I wore...

A black dress with greeny/bluey polka-dots, a black cardi, a black cami, and black flats.
My co-worker, who is also a marketer, wore a black dress with greeny/bluey polka-dots (same exact one), a black cardi, a green cami, and black boots.
Umm, yeah.

I know, I know...

I've been told that some of you (who shall remain nameless, JARED) are mad at me for not posting anything good lately.
Well, the good stuff in my life is just too darn good to put on here, and everything else is just blah.
Sometime soon I will become funny again, and will start coming up with some new theories. For now, you guys pretty much know all my theories. Patience, my friends. I will be back.
For now, feast your minds on this: today I saw a lady wearing a track suit with really tall, pointy, fancy black pumps. I do not jest. The horror, oh, the horror.

I had to steal this, Mel!

This was only my friend Melanie's blog, and I just HAD to steal it! I laughed so hard, I got an ab workout. I think the best part is "is this FOREVER?"
You really MUST hit play. SO worth it. Get ready to LYAO (do you like how I incorporated a hip texting word, only with a twist? I hate LMAO, LOL, etc... Don't you?)

I just LOVE this...

SO me.

I survived

My younger sister's wedding. I will put some pics up later. Let me assure you, I looked fabulous. My date looked even more fabulous. Nobody (especially not me) bemoaned my spinsterhood with that beautiful (and smart! stylish! confident! fun!) man-candy on my arm.

The wedding was very simple, sweet, and quick. The reception was nice, as well, with good people, food, and entertainment.

The only things that did not survive the wedding, however, were, unfortunately, my eyebrows. The night before, I got a mani/pedi. In a moment of clairvoyance about the unlikelihood that I would be able to manage a major eyebrow-plucking-session before the event, I asked the girl (I'm in a salon, after all), for an eyebrow wax.

Count this as one of the hugest mistakes of my adult life.

I wish the picture did it justice.

Okay, so, going in, I'm like, "I really like thick eyebrows, so not too thin... Just really natural, please." And, somehow, she translated that to "Go ahead and wax the top."

Umm... guess what? You shouldn't really wax or pluck the top, aside from the random stray clean-up. Had I seen you were about to do that before I felt the warm wax being applied, I would have, in slow motion, with arms flailing, shouted, "Nooooooooo...."

So, my left eyebrow is almost okay. It's really about right, aside from minimal damage to the top. Maybe slightly too thin at the thick end. My right eyebrow, however, is a skinny stripe. No change in width all the way across. Not enough to even work with with my magical eyebow pencil. I got butchered.

I guess I'm back to plucking. Which pains me, because I always end up crying. But not as much as I want to cry when I see my freaky eyebrows in the mirror right now. At least there's no emotion behind it when I cry about plucking.

This is not original at all...

BUT:
"When I Googled this Teyana Taylor person to find out more about her, I learned she has a single called "Google Me." Eerie. I expect to find out that, minutes before I finish typing, she's released a follow-up called "Fug Me," because she's some kind of rapper-psychic.
Although it doesn't take ESP or a crystal ball to know she was going to get it from us for this:

Have you ever been faced with a buffet so sumptuous -- or at least so full of breakfast pastries -- that you were paralyzed from not knowing where to start? That is how I feel right now. Do I begin with the workout pants? The boots, which look like she shot Fozzy Bear after mugging a stripper? Or the understated, tasteful corset? It's a marvel of symbolism: the ruby navel, the gold chain flap dangling slightly north of where her natural-born Google would be...
But nothing is quite so achingly subtle as the mammoth bejewelled pseudo-nipples that cover her actual skin-made ones. It's like her Faberge egg hatched and she's getting ready to breast-feed its spawn. This might be my favorite outfit in GFY history. I need at LEAST three in different colors."

The girls at GFY have really outdone themselves this time! And this girl has really outdone most rodeo clowns. I just copied and pasted, because the whole url thing wasn't working for me today. I hope this makes you as happy as it did me! My favorite part may be the Faberge egg reference! (Also, do you notice how her torso appears to be eerily smiling at you? Creepy...)