This is what is wrong with me...

1) I am, ahem, 25 years old and have never been anywhere spectacular. I need to move to the Italian Riviera to make up for this.

2) I am soooooo single. I cannot lower my standards. And even when I think I can, I am wrong. I have dated too many people with too many defects that I know what I can't live with, well, FOREVER. And so, while all my friends are happily posting blogs about their 1-year, 2-year, 5-year anniversaries, I am looking around at the ever-shrinking dating pool with disgust, at the same time thinking, "well, it must actually be me, not them..." Which makes it difficult to pull my reverse-George-Costanza "it's not me, it's you."

3) I don't believe in global warming. And so, I will continue to be unpopular in my political beliefs. Also, I would just like to say now that if the dems get into the oval office, we will become a socialist country, and I will move to, oh, I don't know, Panama. Also, this way I can say, 'I told you so' later.

4) I am unsuccessful. Why can't I have a job in television production, aside from the fact that there aren't many, if any, of those available?

5) I am sunburned. This is a brand-new development.

6) I am seemingly unable to breech the 15-pounds-lost mark. Okay, perhaps because I have become lazy in the summer heat. Excuses, excuses. This won't be a problem for long. I'm considering not eating anymore.

7) I got my hair cut and I feel that it may be, how do you say, less than glamorous.

8) I get really opposed to things just because they are really popular. Comic book hero movies, Stephanie Meyer vampire books, Celine Dion. It's like if the general public likes it, I won't. And I really don't. I know I won't like a movie that everyone is freaking out about, for example, and I see it, and I don't like it. And not just because I don't want to. I guess I just don't like the general public too much, either. But I hope they get all fanatic and creepy about my books someday, so I guess I should be less resistant to their obsessions.

9) I can't figure out how to be comfortable in high heels. Which is a bloody shame, because I wear them to a fault.

10) I am not sporty. And may very well never be.

11) I miss, love, remember, and care for people way to easily and too much. Way more than they miss, love, remember, and care for me (I don't mean this meanly, but it's just true a lot of the time).

12) I cried at work the other day. I do not cry. Especially in public. Time to get a new job. It's like that SATC where Charlotte is talking about how she cried at work once in five years, and then it was all, "don't make Charlotte cry!" all the time. Or like when Miranda says, "I got lit on fire, I showed emotion in public, I'm done" or something like that...

13) I am often attracted to gay men. There, I said it.