Got bombshell?: Those aren't shorts, they're a diaper!!

Wednesday, August 15, 2007

Those aren't shorts, they're a diaper!!

I keep seeing "ladies" around town in these terry short shorts, the ones that when you move show your tuckas. Ok, totally unattractive, people. I really don't know you well enough to be privy to cheek.
The way the fabric bunches a little, they really do look like a giant adult diaper. Skipping the 20s, 30s, etc, all the way up to octogenerian, are we? Well, I think those Depends are supposed to be worn UNDER your clothes. I think. I'm pretty sure. Yeah.
Also, it does nothing to hide all that cottage cheese. Girls, most of us have it, but I swear the women I've seen this week think it is SEXY or something, the way they are showing it off! Mama, no beuno.

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Pet peeves

The expression "kick (my, your, his, her) trash." You've probably NEVER heard that if you aren't mo. It's akin to "kick (my, your, his, her) butt."
Songs that tell a story (esp. ones that start and end with the same sentence, usually of the country genre)
the phrase "as per usual"
that Nicholas Cage Still has a career, should have ended after "Raising Arizona"
the question "what can I do you for?"
the glare of the sun off cars in mid-day
tights with open-toed shoes
cell phones in public
mis-uses of the words 'there,' 'their,' 'they're' (and similar grammatical errors)
counting new $1 bills

My Favorite Lyrics

"And I find it kind of funny, I find it kind of sad, the dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had..." (from "Mad World by REM)
"Not a day goes by I don't think about you. You left your mark on me it's permanent, a tattoo... Think about you and that long ride, I bite my nails, I get weak inside. Reach over and turn off the light, oh my baby."(from "Right in Time" by Lucinda Williams)
"Moved to the west coast away from everyone, She never told me that you called, Back when I was still, I was still in love"(from "Landed" by Ben Folds)
"Your lip is cut on the edge of her pleated skirt" (from "Blue Alert" by Madeline Peyroux)
"You can't resist her. She's in your bones. She is your marrow, and your ride home." (from "Only in Dreams" by Weezer)
"I feel like a ghost who's trying to move your hands over some ouija board in the hopes I can spell out my name." (from "Invisible Ink" by Aimee Mann)
"I don't need a better thing, I'd settle for less. It's another thing for me, I just have to wander through this world, alone." (from "Lose You" by Pete Yorn)
"I know someday you'll have a beautiful life, I know you'll be the sun in somebody else's sky, why, why, why can't it be mine?" (from "Black" by Pearl Jam)
"I know the last page so well, I can't read the first. So, I just don't start, it's getting worse" (from "Inside of Love" by Nada Surf)
"You can get what you want or you can just get old" (from "Vienna Waits for You" by Billy Joel)