Today, I am thankful for...

1. Jim Gaffigan, and his witty stand-up, and the fact that I get to see him next weekend.
"...Thanksgiving, the tradition is: we over-eat. (But we do that everyday!) Well, okay... how 'bout we eat a lot with people who annoy the hell out of us? (He's anti-family...)"
2. My awesome fam. Here are a few of them:
3. My adorable doggies, Jojo (Josephine Bonaparte) and Walter Santa "Little Jerry Seinfeld" Brigman:

4. America. And living here. And my religion, which is a choice I get to make here. And Christ.
5. All my amazing friends (here are a few, there are too many of you to post pics of, it would go for pages and pages)!

6. A shower that now is not only hot, but has enough water pressure to be more than a trickle!

7. Four days off in a row.

8. Pajama pants.

9. Digital cameras.

10. You!

No, no, NO!

What I wanna know, disregarding everything else that is absolutely heinous about this outfit, is who is behind these outfits that make boobs into eyes? Because it's gotta be that same crazy idiot. Certainly there is not more than one designer who thinks this is a good idea. And, this kook is really getting on my last nerve. Although, I guess, if nothing else, at least I'm entertained.

Because you all know how much I like pretending to be someone else...

If you think I have too much time on my hands... You may be right. And here are some cold, hard exhibits of evidence to support your hypothesis:

Me a long time ago. Me as Mariah. I kind of like this hair.

I'm a ballerina. I wish.

So, this one I tried because I am considering dying my hair... What do you think? I kind of like it.

As a kid, I dressed like WW all the dang time. Rad!

Man, I'm pink... More dark hair.

Here's me if I lost a million pounds and chopped my hair. Encouragement for my diet efforts.

Hello! Of course I would try "Vogue!"

A Nicole Kidman Chanel ad. I like the hair! And the twiggy bod!

Girl with a Pearl Earring. And huge features.

The Barbie doll Mac ad. This one makes me want to get my chin done. But I love platinum hair... When I had it that time before, it felt like straw, though. Maybe I should go platinum again.

I love this one! Reminds me of Zoolander! "Mer-man!"

So, guys, you should check out faceinhole.com. But be prepared to waste lots of time!

I saw "The Lakehouse," umm, no... "Lakewood Manor?" Hmm... "Crystal Lake Cove?" Oh, yeah... "Lakeview Terrace." And it was memorable.

*Spoiler Alert* on "Lakeview Terrace" and "Eagle Eye." Not that you were planning on seeing either... Let's be honest.

Oh, man. What a waste of time. Now, yeah, I did see the previews. And so, yeah, I was already pretty sure I wouldn't like it. But, we decided to hit up the dollar movies and this was about the only thing we hadn't seen. Plus, I like Kerry Washington because of "Save the Last Dance" memories.
1st issue: these people buy a house right in the path of major California wild-fires. Umm, perhaps not planning ahead?

2nd issue: it's all about how this guy (Sam L. J.) hates that his new neighbors are an inter-racial couple. And he goes to their house-warming with this big chip on his shoulder, and you look around the party and every single couple is inter-racial. Point made, strange movie. Or, not. It was like "huh? Oh, that's realistic..."

3rd issue: Everything was made to be wayyy wayyy more dramatic than it actually was. The music was way overdone. SLJ was kind of crazy, but mostly, all he did was verbally insult the new neighbor. Oh, I'm scared! He told him he wasn't welcome! I'm shaking with the thrill of this "thriller!" He's terrorizing them! No, man, "terrorizing" and "crazy" is boiling your neighbor's rabbit ("Fatal Attraction"), keeping dead people in the walls of your house ("Disturbia"), being Kevin Bacon on "The River Wild." Yeah, he maybe starts terrorizing them the last 10 minutes of the show.

I could go on and on. But, anywho. I think you get the idea. Waste of 2 bucks and 2 hours.

Oh, but SLJ's cop partner was over-the-top gorgeous. And, the gorgeous Italian from "Gray's Anatomy" made a cameo. Hello!

"Traitor" was decent. Love Don Cheadle. Hate Guy Pearce. What a crappy actor. I think he was supposed to be someone we could relate to, but frankly, the Don C character (a suspected terrorist) is much more sympathetic.

It was definitely slow, and wrapped up at the end with a much smaller bang than I expected, and an awkward conversation, but it was intense and explored some interesting moral questions. Plus, there were loads of gorgeous dark men. I mean, especially "Omar." Meow.

I give it a "so-so," but compared to "Lakeview Terrace," it is Oscar-worthy cinematic genius. I liked it okay. Probably won't buy it.

Thanks, Natasia, for the recommendation. What a strange, sad movie "The United States of Leland" is. I really liked it. It will really make you think, and feel. I totally recommend it.

Ryan Gosling looks soooo different, btw. Yep, that's him, in the red.

"Wall-E." Saw it a while ago. I think it's pretty watch-worthy. I'm not really into these Disney/Pixar flicks usually, but it seems like I keep seeing them.

This one is pretty darn sweet. There is a touch of the environmentalist/save-the-world political spin, but I think we can pretty much expect that in anything nowadays.

There was a moment at the end that was so sad I was actually sobbing. I had to turn my face totally to the left so my friends wouldn't see. Embarrassing, but worth sharing, because that's what a good job they did expressing the emotional aspect of a robot.

Yep, I saw this too. Told you I've been seeing cartoons. This was surprisingly funny and enjoyable. I recommend it. It's fresh.

"Eagle Eye" was pretty good. For the type of movie it is. The whole computer-becomes-almost-human-and-decides-to-

take-over has been done. To death. But, it had good action sequences, special effects, et al. And Michelle "pig-face" Monaghan (that's from "Dan in Real Life) was way less annoying than she has been in the past.

I actually liked it. It was cheesy, yes. But still recommendable.

THAT'S what I want!

I am *in love* with these boots. I have wanted them for months... And they are expensive. I will probably never get them :( But, a girl can dream, can't she?
Can't you see me in these with some purple tights and a cute wintry dress or skirt and sweater?
I think I'll put a picture of them on my corkboard and they will just come to me like in "The Secret." (That's a little 'shout out' to IASIP!)

My hair is gonna look like Kramer's on that episode of Seinfeld where they had no water pressure.

So, I called my apartment complex office to complain about our water heater. Lately, a hot shower has been out of the question. Tepid, sure. Lukewarm, why not? Hot? Yeah right.
And if Georgia and I are both using our showers at the same time, forget about it.
So, they installed some meter. Or something. Don't know the technicalities. But, suffice it to say that now we may have hot water, but the water pressure is GONE. My shower is but a trickle (in fact, it isn't flowing fast enough to stay on, and often defaults to coming out of the bath faucet). Washing clothes takes twice as long. Running water from the tap in the kitchen is weak sauce.
So, what you're telling me, maintenance guy, is it's either cold water or no water? Oh, okay, that makes sense...

And, the worst part is, I don't want to call them again, although it is only a matter of time. But, you know, the office/maintenance guy could get annoyed and say, turn the heat off altogether. "Take that, Apt 10--, how do you like that water pressure? Enjoy your hyperthermia. Wah ha ha!"

WHY am I such an idiot?!

You would think that after 30 years I would be able to control my idiocracy to some extent. But it seems to be involuntary, like breathing.
That is all.

Carter Can

HGTV is good... I like "Divine Design" in particular, and "Curb Appeal." But, can I just give a "shout out" (that's for you, Teri) to Carter Oosterhouse, the single-handed sex-appeal of HGTV?
Let's be honest, when you think of HGTV, you don't exactly think about something like THIS. You think about remodeling, hardwood floors, and gardens. But, I gotta say, I flip to HGTV more often when I periodically remember the existance of this beautiful man. He can remodel my place anytime (shirtless), and I don't even own it. I will pay back my apartment complex for any changes they have to make later. "Carter Can?" Oh, yes, I think he can.
Official new Hollywood-ish crush.

Jessica Alba "appreciates a good bang" (that's a joke some of you may not get, sorry)

Unfortunately, I do not appreciate them. I hate them. Why hide your super-pretty face, J.A.? However, I am psychotically obsessed with that dress. If I had a million dollars (and was a size 6)... The only thing I take issue with is that flap that looks like a sleeve she missed and just left hanging there. Still, that dress is tops!

Dish network. The non-network.

Whilst watching "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia," our Dish-lovely-Network decided to just lose its signal. No rain, no wind, no tornado... WTF? Oh, I guess the stars aren't aligned correctly for us to watch tv. Yeah, just not in the cards. Too bad, us.

Dirty jeans

The new-ish Levi's "live unbuttoned" commercials are absolutely hideous.
I warn you, they are not really PG, especially the first one, where two people admit all the lies they have told each other as they strip and engage in breaking and entering in order to have meaningless sex. Oh, yeah. That is really appealing. Gosh, if I buy your jeans, I can sleep with a random (and ugly, btw) guy who lives in his car, wears plaid boxers (how very 1992), and is a compulsive liar?! Oh, where do I sign up?!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S83u8eQ6acA

And here is the "if I wear Levi's, I can have a one-night-stand with a guy who will sneak out in the morning to avoid a conversation" commercial. I can't imagine a more romantic, desirable situation! It's what I've been looking for my entire life... I can't believe I've been wasting my time looking for love! What an idiot!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iCITbt7nsIY

Give me a break, Levi's. And while you're at it, give me a pair of jeans so I can "live unbuttoned." And get an STD.

PS: If you can't tell, I re-he-heally hate this ad campaign.

Manolo Blahnik, Manolo Blahnik, Manolo Blahnik, Manolo Blahnik, Manolo Blahnik, Manolo Blahnik... Gotta ward off those L-word ads...

Wishing upon a star...

I am here. I have not really been bloggy lately. Not for any real reason, other than not having too many fashion mistakes to talk about, nor too many movies, nor any embarrassing stories of late (why? I am sure embarrassing things are happening to me, but my overall ennui is somehow blurring them out)...

And for some reason, I am having a hard time sharing anything real about myself on here lately. Sure, I can gripe about politics. I can swoon about gorgeous hunks of Hollywood man-meat. I can post pics of fun events.

But, the romantic/not escapades of a nearly 31-year-old single mormon girl are somehow off the docket. Any feelings of, well, anything, are turning inward instead of out unto the vast faceless public of the internets. Huh. Maybe I am growing up? Or, maybe I am just afraid.

Anywho, wish me luck in things I refuse to talk about here ;) I still love you, my fabulous readers. Don't worry. There will be something juicy on here soon. I guarantee it.

Oh, but I did learn to make home-made tortillas. And, I'm down 7 pounds. Can I get a 'what, what?!'

Manolo Blahnik. (This is working, btw. I'm up to $1.74. Retirement, here I come! If you are confused, see here .)

Really? You're gonna play it like that, are you?

A) This does not fit. By any stretch of the imagination (do you like my use of the word 'stretch?' Like how I did that? Wasn't that tricky?!)
B) That 'purse' reminds me of the SATC where Big gives Carrie a bedazzled duck purse (wait, was it a swan? Or am I off? I can't remember...) and not in a good way.
C) Is it me, or does the dress look strangely like an evil Cookie Monster? The use of boobs as eyes perplexes and strongly annnoys me. Let's just not go there, please, Katy.
And, sorry to state the (mean) obvious, but the use of very normal, natural, but extremely-unnaturally-binded woman stomach-pooch as the Cookie Monster's evil grin does nothing for me, either...
And maybe he's technically a Cupcake Monster, and her bag is an offering for later to appease the beast...

Revisiting "Rachel Getting Married..."

I forgot to mention that the movie had a 7-minute scene which featured a competition between two people to see who could load the dish-washer more efficiently... No, I am not kidding.

Oh, no...

LOOK what horrors this thing is doing to Beyonce's slammin' figure...
Girl, why are you doing this to yourself? Of course, I am ignoring several obvious "Star Trek," "Star Wars," "Mad Max," or "Water World" jokes here...

You know, anything that you wanna forget, Tommy Boy.

After two weeks of eating spinach...

I finally lost five pounds! I have been soooo frustrated! Georgia and I have been on this diet together, and she lost five pounds in the first week. And, you can tell. And here I am, feeling all extra-fluffy, thinking "WTF?"

Well, hormones can do crappy, crappy things to a girl... But, I am no longer bloated, and am five pounds lighter! Of course, got a ways to go, but I am glad it was not all for naught:)

Go, spinach!

Oh, hell no.

Well, that's it. Get ready, folks. You chose it. Socialism sucks.

I think I'm gonna have to call in sick tomorrow...

...because tonight I saw "Rachel Getting Married."

I wanted to love it. Really, I tried. But, from the extreme over-acting, to the scenes that seemed to go on forever, to the random and excessive and tiring musicians, to the pretty unlovable main character, it was one of the most painful cinematic experiences I have ever endured. It went on forever. Each party that happened in the film had to be stomached in its entirely by the audience. Please, do yourself a favor and avoid this movie, which has earned itself a spot amongst the coveted 'worst movies of all time," the likes of "Down to You," "Coyote Ugly," "Leatherheads," and "Requiem for a Dream."

I was hoping the Anne Hathaway character would just do herself in, and it would be over. Instead; each and every toast that was made; each and every guest's musical contribution; each and every long, drawn out melodramatic fight and speech; each and every dance scene; just went on longer. Just like this post. I'm so done.

Look at that girl wearin' daisy dukes, oh, everybody!

I am sick to death of short shorts! Hey, totally annoying and rotten, rude, entitled girl at Wal-mart: they may be made out of denim, but they are still panties! Just FYI.

90210 dreamin'

Brenda, I can see things have been going downhill for you since you and Dylan broke up. Just keep truckin, girl.
This too, shall pass.

Robert Palmer - Addicted To Love

Halloween at it's finest! This video rocks. It is what my friends and I went as this year.

Halloweenie

Halloween was fun (well, last night, actually)! We went to a party, dressed as the Robert Plamer "Addicted to Love" video. It was quite fabulous, if I do say so myself (Suz, Georgia, David aka "Robert", Candice, me)... We made a pact to keep the dance-move up all night. My buns are sore today!

Here's the original (in case you don't know what it is, in which case, shame on you... you should definitely watch the video above if you haven't):
And here we are with a certain political figure. Sarah, welcome to the band!