Take Me Out to the Ballgame!

So, Ker, great suggestion about the Frisco Rough Riders game! The stadium is great, every seat in there is good!

Some highlights:

1. There were some cute baseball players in tight pants.
2. The little 13-year-old dancers were weirdly made-up. They kind of creeped me out in general. Especially during that "Apache" dance, which has always cracked me up. My co-worker's little nephew did kind of out-dance them, anyway.
   
   
3. My friend Marilyn and I made the Jumbo-tron! I was dead-center. Probably because I'm dead-sexy! Hahaha!
4. The park appears to be coming out of David's mouth. Rad.
5. I used the ladies' room at the end of the night. The smell in there was so disgusting, like nothing I've ever smelled, and it just slapped me in the face the second I walked in. Who knows what that smell was. But I literally dry-heaved twice. I believe the only reason I did not throw up was my mental aversion to putting my face any closer to those toilets was actually stronger then my involuntary physical response. Watch out, people. If you have to use the bathroom there, well, don't.

Hold on, hold on!!!

This is the best! She falls almost as well as me! The newsguys make it super awesome.

I know I have said this before...

But I love "One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest."

I just saw the last 30 minutes or so, and it is absolutely amazing. The story is awesome, Jack Nicholson is incredible (and surprisingly gorgeous), the music is perfectly melancholy. I think you need to rent it. Tonight.

Really?

There is a street in Dallas called "Bobbitt Street." For real.
All I'm sayin' is the name doesn't inspire much confidence, ya know, for males.
If I were a dude, I would never live there. No way. Just in case.

Don't waste your money, or your TWO HOURS

Okay, so this movie was terrible. Not only was it slow; nothing happened (and y'all know I like movies a lot of the time that are slow and nothing happens); Renee Zellweger's character was awful, just so bratty and mean, and yet she had two men falling all over themselves for her; you never bond with any of the characters, so you don't care at all what happens to them (who wins the game, who loses, whose reputation is ruined, who gets the girl); and there aren't even tons of young attractive athletic men to oogle.
There were two redeeming qualities (still not enough to get me to recommend it):

1. GEC. I still love him, no matter if he just directed and starred in this craptastic two hours of film... Oh, and that last hour feels like three.
2. The guy in front of us quite enjoyed it, and laughed boisterously in the silent theater. He was a hoot.

Do not see this movie. Seriously. You will regret it during the opening credits, which last 25 minutes and still nothing happens.

The Killers

So, my sister and I have a theory that that little packet of "flower food" that comes with bouquets is actually "flower murderer."
We have noticed that flowers seem to actually die faster when we use it.
Think about it, why would any business give you something that will make you buy less of their product, less often? They wouldn't. They might, however, give you something that would make you buy more, even if they have to be tricky about it.
Hmmm... sneaky flower shops.
I'm onto you.

Red Bull Air Race Abu Dhabi 2008

I keep seeing commercials for this, they are having them in Detroit and San Diego, and in other cities around the world. I totally wish I could go! Looks sweet.
http://www.redbullairrace.com/

Here it is:

Awesome!

My awesome sister:

"I feel like I'm wasting my life sleeping when I could be watching t.v."

PlasticMatt

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I learned it by watching you, alright

One of my favorite commercials, I keep quoting it lately. So funny, if you can ignore the serious subject matter and be totally shallow and insensitive. Which I can.

Dallas tree trauma :(

Remember that storm the other night that I was telling you about?

Yeah. Trees are wrecked all over town. How totally depressing. I really like big old trees, and now they are all broken. Boo.

The next morning, driving past my friend's apartment (in my complex), a tree was lying on her two cars.

Her SUV had been parked at my house for the past two weeks, and the very day of the storm she had decided to walk over and drive it back to her place.

Her volvo, which she normally parks in front of her garage, she had parked in a spot next to the SUV (randomly, thinking, 'oh, I never get a regular parking spot, I'll take it!')

And isn't it ironic? Don't ya think?

Luckily, only the SUV had major damage, the volvo is okay. Although the whole thing stinks, if you wanna be honest.

GQ Photo Shoot

I'm quite a good photog:

How you doin'?
New suit, new life.


A dapper be fri.

I'm not too shabby, either, if I do say so myself. Which I do.

Just call me 'Tiger.' Umm... 'Trevor. Immelman.'

Last night I rocked the driving range with a few of my special boys (who rock way more than me, at golf.)
Aside from my several sad lame pathetic, ground-skimming shots, I did have several pretty strait, fairly decent (for a girl) shots.
Go me!
But, props to David and Pauly for certain circus-trick type shots (i.e. eyes closed, two-balls-at-a-time, etc.) You guys are my heroes in golf and in life.
Peace.

Inappropriate!

So, what's with inappropriate questions that are, for some reason, accepted by the general public as, well, acceptable?

Example #1:
"So, how's married life?"
David and I heard someome ask a newly married couple this at a party this weekend. Afterward, David pointed out how much he hates that question, because, what? They're gonna be like "Well, turns out she's passive aggressive, and I'm an abusive husband. Who knew?"

Example #2:
"So, Maigen, are you going with David to Chicago for the summer?" (David is moving to finish school.)
Umm... First of all, girlie, you obviously don't even know if we're dating. Which we're not. But hey, thanks for 'solidifying our coupledom' for us in front of many strangers and people who potentially gossip. And wouldn't that whole thing fall in the "none-of-your-bees'wax" category anyway?

That's it. That's my rant. If if ain't your business, don't ask me about it. Especially in front of a lot of people.

Oh, and what kind of Denny's doesn't have orange juice because the 'machine's not working?' Get yourself a can of frozen concentrate and mix it up, yo. 'Cause them diners be wantin' o.j. wit their eggs and hash-b's.

Gym experiences

Tonight, I went with el Davido to his apartment's gym. It's really nice, it's big, has lots of equipment. We had a really good workout. As I told him, I like to workout with guys the best, because I don't want to loose face, so I will push myself harder than if I were alone or with a girl.
Two things:

1. There was this teenager who was on a treadmill going REALLY fast, like as fast as the thing would run, standing on a skateboard. I was so nervous. I was just thinking there were so many things that could go wrong, leading to a broken head, lots of blood, and ultimately, his death. In front of me. I really didn't want to have to handle his gushing blood, or watching his body fly from the machine into a weight machine behind it, instantly breaking his back. I was freaking out. Luckily, nothing happened.
2. The Mavs won against the (ick!) Utah Jazz. It was such a great game! The last 8 seconds were fabulous! When the Jazz made a 3-pointer, and the Mavs followed it up with a 3-pointer of their own, immediately, and by Dirk, no less, I literally cheered. I was so excited I actually talked to this random stranger, a handsome young fella who was also watching the game. He was exactly the type of stranger I avoid: cute, younger (like, 22), probably full of himself. And he talked back. Basketball can build a bridge. (Which reminds me of something I told David, "if the Mavs win this game, I can believe in anything!")

Pedigree Commerical

Okay, really neither one of these commercials is what I was actually searching for (the WaMu commercial with the guy rolling around in a field of puppies, which reminds Krissy, and me, of me), but how adorable are these guys?

Cottonelle Toilet Paper Puppy Commercial

What's with this? I have dubbed this cute puppy the 'a** awareness dog.' Poor little thing, he's too cute to be associated with peoples' behinds.

"Info Not Available"

So, as you may know, I hate Dish Network.
Last night, I woke up to what sounded like, and very well may have been, a tornado outside my window. I went to check the news, but to my very great surprise (NOT) Dish Network couldn't get a signal. Well, then, the power went completely out, and I'm just sitting in bed thinking, 'do I take cover? Do I go back to sleep?'
Well, because, as some of you may know, I really can't have my sleep interrupted for any reason (especially when under the influence of Tylenol PM) I decided to stay in bed. Yes, that's right. I would rather sleep than hide from a tornado outside my window. Lazy? Sure. Crazy? Maybe.
The other problem with DN is that the 'guide' is completely useless. Most of the time, as little as 30 minutes to an hour ahead of time, the guide says "info not available." Oooo, I want to know what is going on in half an hour? I know, it's a lot to ask. It's not easy to predict the future. No one knows what's going to happen. Don't worry, DN, I know you're no fortune teller.
As I am writing this, I am watching Law and Order CI (yes, I am a L&O junkie) or should I say 20 second increments of L&O interrupted with "aquiring satellite connection" screens, because, you guessed it, it's a little windy outside. Although this is not my favorite L&O cast (it's the red-head monotone girl and Mr. Big), you just can't miss a minute here, 30 seconds there, and keep up with a L&O plot.
DN, you stink.

Embarrassment at its finest.

Today I had the funniest, most embarrassing moment at work.
This guy came over to the counter, a pretty good-looking older man, about 50, who asked me for some help, beginning with, "memory, it's the first thing to go, with us old guys."
As I was fiddling around on the computer, helping him out, he stood there, rambling...
And I quote: "everything else works, though!" (Emphasis not changed, in fact, he kind of pointed his finger ramdomly into space when he said 'else,' I promise.)
I kept my head down, trying to focus on my computer, but could not help but start laughing, and kind of said, "good to know..."
So, he was still rambling, "my eyesight is still good..." and he noticed I was laughing, and he called me out, "oh, you're thinking bad!"
I wanted to crawl under the counter and hide. So embarrassing.

All this Daylight Saving Time mumbo-jumbo

Last night, after sushi and the movie "Married Life" at the Angelika theater (which film is pretty good, by the way. Rachel McAdams' hair, make-up, clothes, etc rocked. She looked fabulous. The story is about a married man in the 40s who decides to leave his wife for another woman, but decides that instead of causing her the pain of leaving her, he should just kill her. It sounds a lot funnier than it really is. But, Patricia Clarkson, one of my fave actresses was in it. Love her. She's so classy. And Pierce Brosnon was less annoying than usual. Overall, I give it some thumbs up. Probably about 1 1/2 thumbs.) I went home and started messing with my laptop.
I was downloading a ton of files from my old computer, getting/naming pics, checking emails, etc, all while watching crappy 80's movies on the telly.
So, not really paying attention to time. Suddenly, I looked up and it was 4 am. 4 am? What am I, 19? Anyway, I quickly went to bed. I had to work today, so I was worried I was going to be dying from exhaustion.
So, I got up today (and I'd like to say, "I got up this morning," but who am I kidding?), and turned on Conference to listen while getting ready for work. (An aside: One of my favorite highlights is when President Monson said something like 'We tend to view our own misfortunes through "a distorted prism of pessimism." Turn to The Lord in faith, he will guide, comfort, and lead you through the storm.' Loved his talk.)
I realized, after what may have by-passed a double-take and gone strait to a quadra-take, that my alarm clock and my phone (on which I specifically turned off the auto-update the last time this happened) both showed it was an hour later than the tv showed. I looked at the clock in the kitchen. Yep, sure enough, my stupid clocks think today is DST. Again. Ever since they changed the date, every time it is actually DST, or every time the clocks think its DST, I have to spend like two weeks convincing my clocks that the time I reset them to every morning is the time I really want it to be. I hate it.
So, at "4 am," when I was thinking to myself, 'man, where did all the time go?' it really was 3 am. I wasn't crazy. It did get late faster than normal. It wasn't even the crappy 80's movie confusing my internal clock, although sometimes they can do that. (Have ya seen "Teen Witch?")

My true love: Jerry Seinfeld

I'm always pleasantly surprised when I come across a "Seinfeld" re-run on tv.
Remember that one where Jerry's girlfriend calls and says, "hey, it's me," and when Elaine finds out, Elaine says, "she's not a 'me,' I'm a 'me.'"
Also, those white tennies. Good stuff.

Ghost World

Genius. One of my favorite movies ever. Especially listen for the "uhh-hu-huh" she makes when pumping the butter!

The B52's

Even as a child, I was not fooled into thinking "Love Shack" was a good song. I saw this today on my break, on the Ellen Degeneres show. The B52's have a new c.d. coming out. (Read: uggggg!) They also performed "Love Shack," one of the songs near the top of my "worst songs ever" list. Aren't they a little old to be going to a "love shack" now that they're octogenarians? Kind of a gross mental image.

Know what I am SO OVER?

Video games. Never liked 'em. Never will. Disturbed by the alarming level of their popularity in our society.
At one particularly not-self-respecting point in my life, I would sit around and watch my guy friends play them. How lame is that?
Anyway, I just think they are such a big waste of time. And, that virtual reality movement makes me nauseous.
I would actually disqualify a guy if he was really into playing video games all the time (or really, ever.) I know, good luck finding one who isn't, right?
I bet GEC never plays video games.

"Subaru's are liberals' cars"

Raise your hand if you have heard me say that. Bet lots of you have.
Here's an article that kind of sounds like me:
http://autos.aol.com/article/truck/_a/republican-or-democrat-cars/20080401133909990001
My personal theory is:
Subaru, Volkswagon, Honda, Acura, Hyundai, BMW-- liberal.
Cadillac, Toyota, Ford, Mercedes, Infiniti, Jaguar, GMC, Porche-- conservative.
What do you drive? And do you think it matches up with your political stance? I drive a Nissan, but am a conservative (I think Nissan might fall on the liberal* side.)
I'm glad someone wrote that article. Means there are people out there who share my penchant for creating meaningless theories. Oh, yeah, and some of my predictions were way off according to this article. Boo.

*My predictions are based more on looks than anything, like I know anything about cars.

To my brother-in-law:

Dear Jared,

Roses are red,

violets are blue.

Happy birthday, Brother.

I always knew you were tall.

Roses are red,
violets are blue.
Can y'all have a baby,
So the pressure will be off me?

Roses are red,
Violets are blue.
Thanks for joining the family.
You can only blame yourself.

My life

Fun (or boring, depends on if you like me or not) facts:

• I'm getting a laptop. That's right, my archaic, gigantic computer is on its way out. I am excited to have a lot more space at my desk, and to have the ability to work on my book wherever. Being stuck at my desk has, I believe, hindered my efforts a bit.
• I'm really going through my clothes and shoes, and am going to sell a ton of stuff. I want to be a minimalist. For real. Stop laughing. It could happen. (P.S.: girls, let me know if you want to buy any size 8 1/2 - 9 shoes. Barely worn, nice brands. Fabulous!) I'm even having my boys be the judge of my clothes this time, instead of my sweet girlfriends, who don't want to hurt my feelings. These boys, I fear, may even be too brutally honest. But, hey, at least I will not keep anything that makes me look ugly.
  
• I signed a new lease with my sis. Our new place has a breakfast nook! It is soooo big! Yay!
• I'm off today and tomorrow, and am basically going to work my butt off, literally, at the gym.
• Forget online apps. I am also going to get all gussied up and go to all the t.v. and radio stations, and magazines and newspapers in Dallas in the next couple of weeks to drop resumes and audition tapes, meet people, and generally annoy my way into a new job.
  
• I kind of love the rowing machine at the gym. I think I might get one. It kills. I can keep it in the breakfast nook.
• Saturday night I am going to a party for the AFI Film Festival. Directors, actors, et al will be there. Maybe I can get a job film editing or something. We'll all see. And if I see Mischa Barton, I'm going to tell her she needs a new stylist and offer to do the job. Boy, does she need it. (Reminds me of my recurring dream that I become friends with Jessica Simpson, and say "Jess, do you want me to be your stylist? Because you really need me to!" [I actually have had that dream a couple of times. It isn't nearly as often as my shopping dreams; martial arts dreams; running from murderers dreams; dinosaur dreams; or kissing gorgeous celebrities like Robert Downey, Jr dreams.])
• General Conference is this weekend, too! Unfortunately, I have to work a lot, but because of the miracle that is Tivo, I won't miss out! Should be a great weekend!
• I love having a really clean house! Feels so good to be home!
• I love Elliott Stabler from "Law and Order SVU." I kind of think he's totally hot. Sadly, in real life, he dresses like this:

When he can look as cute as this: