Bad Bad BAD

I have seen at least four teenagers (mostly girls) wearing these. Boat shoes. So ugly! Though, I couldn't find the exact pair online. I am sure it is some cheap-o juniors brand like BC or Sketchers or something. Picture these shoes, but the leather is the grey of, well, the closest thing I can think of is a dead person (thank you, "Law and Order!"), with navy-ish (but not quite navy, not quite grey, it's not really committed to any color) flannel panels on the side, and usually with the back folded under the lazy ignoramus' heel. I am so glad to not be a teenager right now. All of their trends are so butt-ugly.

In my search for the boat-shoes, I saw some shoes that, if worn, would certainly make the boat-shoe-wearer my best friend in fashion by comparison.

These are called "hobbit shoes." Oh, yes, because looking like a hobbit is the ultimate goal.

Looking like a hobbit might be only slightly less desirable than looking like an elf:

These monstrosities look like what a snake-person from the planet Zolton would be wearing if its ship crash-landed on the fictional Earth of "Bladerunner:"

The only thing that makes me feel slightly better about these disgusting paper-bag-esque slip-ons is that they also come in "Republican." Wait, no, I take that back. I don't want "Republican" associated with such ugly shoes!

These make me throw up a little. Not only are they hideous (they are canvas, with tan leather). Not only do they totally offend my delicate sensibilities. They look like an old smoker's upper lip. Sorry for the gross image. And that toe-hole is way too big. It's not a "peep-toe," it's an "in-your-face-toe." It would be all toes. Ick.

Don't let any of these shoes too close to yours. Their stink might wear off.