Cellular Tellular

In my book, "The Seven Habits of Highly Defective People," I plan on devoting a chapter to cell phone etiquette.

SCENE
DAY, INT.
lady who I am helping who has said maybe one word to me, as she is very busy and very important chatting up what I can only assume is an equally obnoxious friend on her cell phone, to equally obnoxious friend (oh, no, she hadn't spoken to me yet, and we were halfway through the transaction, don't even think she may start now):
"Oh, I'm sorry, I'm just doing this transaction at ----, multi-tasking, you know. " Obnoxious, tettering laugh.

No, lady. Don't call it "multi-tasking." Call it "being rude," because that is what it is. I'm multi-tasking, taking care of your transaction and maintaining my cool and reminding myself on the inside that, no, perhaps holding up my hand as a fake phone to my ear and saying, "lady, if I get on my phone too, can we communicate better?" is probably not my best move, though it is tempting...
Which reminds me of a fabulous product I found online the other day. "Urban A-hole Notification Cards." Check it out:



http://www.glarkware.com/productcart/pc/viewPrd.asp?idcategory=5&idproduct=2096

Awesome, right? Hope that doesn't offend your delicate sensibilities. Anywho, you can check boxes for things like:

• leaving kids in car
• leaving dog in car
  
• smoking in non-smoking areas
• not tipping / not tipping enough
• cutting in line
• talking loudly on cell phone
• littering
• wearing too much perfume or cologne
• not washing hands after using washroom
• not giving up seat on public transportation when someone obviously needs it more than you

I think these cards are genius. I wish they said "jerk-face" instead of "a-hole" and I would totally pass them out all over the place!