Tuesday, August 12, 2008

5 signs your date is into you...

Hey guys, I read this article on AOL, and I though some of it was pretty interesting. I am pretty good at reading body language, but some of these were even things I hadn't thought of! Oh, and my responses/comments are in blue.
Five signs your date is into you…
1. He closes the distance
"First and foremost, moving in closer indicates a desire for more intimate contact," Hartley says. So if a guy you're talking to at a party inches a little closer as you talk, or your date slides into the same side of the booth as you, you know he wants to get to know you better—and not as a friend.
Duh, of course we all know this!!
2. He speaks softly
When a man talks in a quieter voice, it's an excellent sign, Hartley explains. "He's indicating that what he's saying is for your ears only," he says. "If he's telling you something private or secret, it's a good thing—guys don't do that to women they're not into." If you want to let that soft-talker know you feel the same way, respond in kind, which should quickly turn those sparks into an all-out fire. Caveat: If you're in a loud bar or restaurant, where you have to shout to be heard, you can't tell anything by his decibel level. So wait until you're walking or driving home to see whether he's turned the volume down.
I do this, actually. Ever since I read "The Great Gatsby," in 9th grade, and learned that Daisy spoke softly to make people lean in, I have employed low-talking as a flirting tactic. It works, btw.
3. He rounds his posture
Hypermasculine body language (think: swaggering walk, standing tall with shoulders back and chin up, etc.) serves to attract women from a distance. But when a guy is talking close-up with a woman he likes, he will soften, or "round" his body language, Hartley notes. If your guy's squared shoulders cave in when he's chatting with you, he's indicating that he feels comfortable and secure in your presence.
I have never thought about this, but it makes sense. I'm keeping my eyes out for this in the future.
4. He talks slowwwly
Like birds in a mating dance, men typically talk more slowly and softly when they are attracted to someone, Hartley explains. Of course, if he knocked back a few gigante lattes on a first date, he may be too wired (and nervous) to sound like Barry White, but give it time: If his speech starts to make you feel sleepy, he's a goner.
I like this, what girl doesn't like a nice sultry man? Preferably southern. Like Harry Connick, Jr. Yummy!
5. He can't take his eyes off you (in a good way)
So his eyes are locked on yours? As long as it isn't a psycho stare, but rather a lingering, heavy-lidded, "Wow, you're amazing" gaze, that guy is digging you big-time, Harley says.
It can be hard to distinguish a "psycho stare" sometimes... Recently, I thought a guy was giving me a "psycho stare," but it turns out, that's just the way he looks!
…and 5 signs your date isn't into you
1. He's four feet away
If his motto may as well be The Police's "Don't Stand So Close to Me", he's not feelin' you romantically, Hartley says. How do you define "distance"? "If he remains four feet or more away from you, it is a clear signal that his heart's not in it," says Hartley.
Doi. Remember "doi?" From the 80's?
2. He stands at an oblique angle facing you
"Most men do not realize that when talking to another man, we stand at oblique angles, with one shoulder facing the other's face, yet when we talk to women — especially ones we're interested in romantically — we stand face-to-face with them," Hartley says. If your guy's shoulder is pointing in the direction of your face during conversation, he's subconsciously showing disinterest or is trying to turn you off, Hartley explains.
Seems obvious, but not something I have tuned into before. My arts of perception have been failing me!
3. He sounds like that guy in accounting
If your date is talking to you like you're someone at the office — meaning the pace is quick and the level of his voice is rather strong — "he's probably just trying to keep it to friend level," Hartley says. With time, you might notice a change — after all, he just might want to keep it "professional" on the first date or two while he gets to know you — but if it remains this way after a few dates, cut your losses.
Umm, yeah. I've had to talk to someone like I worked in accounting before... It worked.
4. He stares at your mouth
When a guy focuses on your lips, what he's really trying to do is avoid eye contact, Hartley explains. "If he's avoiding eye contact, you can pretty safely assume he's not into you," he asserts. If your date fixes his gaze below your face, he's probably interested in you, but perhaps not for a long-term relationship, if you know what we mean…
So... maybe my "lips-eyes, lips-eyes" move isn't the best? I don't know, when used properly, I have had a 97% rate of return on a kiss. "The 'bend-and-snap!' Works every ti-me!"
5. He's out of sync with your body language
When a guy is romantically interested in you, he will mimic your body language, so if he doesn't copy you, gesture for gesture, odds are he isn't smitten, Hartley says. To test the waters, try leaning in closer to your date, using your hands to emphasize what you're saying. If your guy does the same, it's a great sign. But if he keeps his hands still, pulls away or takes a step backwards, he may be unavailable or just plain not interested.
Interesting... Makes sense. Next time I'm on a date, I think I'll make some really strange gestures just to see what he does...

3 comments:

Unknown said...

wow, a lot to remember...however all pretty valid.

i feel like I should have something funny to say, but i dont...however, what if you ARE dating from someone in accounting and he is just passionate about his job!?

Wait, that would never happen, I couldn't date someone passionate about accounting, yuk.

WhiteEyebrows said...

...sigh... if it were only this easy. truth is, we all do it wrong. at least I know I do. it's a miracle natural selection hasn't already selected me.

Teri said...

Nice list. Too bad some of us are so dense we don't get it till the guy grabs us by the waist says "I don't want to be just your friend" and then plants a big wet one on us. Thank goodness some people are comfortable being forward... or I'd be someplace very different right now :)