New Year, new you

Happy New Year, people! I am happy to say "good-bye" to my fattest year ever. I am giving up Coca-cola Classic (and other regular soft-drinks) as a big part of my new diet, and hopefully laying off the sauce will help me get back to my normal, less-fluffy self.
As an adieu to 2007, I'd like to just reflect for a moment... There. That was good. Here's a list for you. I just love lists.

Things I fell in love with in 2007:

• Vincent Longo lipgloss
• Adrien Brody
• purple
• Saks Fifth Avenue
• The song "Buried in Your Backyard" by Nightmare of You
• "Slaughterhouse Five" by Kurt Vonnegut
• "Lars and the Real Girl," and its star, Ryan Gosling
• blogging
• gelato
• sashimi
• bright colored tights
• Tim Duncan
• "Flipping Out"
• open-toe flats
• politics

Things I fell out of love with in 2007:

• J. Crew
• Lindsay Lohan (hey, I loved "Mean Girls" and "The Parent Trap")
• the Nissan Z
• "Pink Poodle" lipstick
• cropped jackets
• Stacy London (because of the stink that is "Fashionably Late." Still love her with Clinton, though. Right on, Candice).
• Kiera Knightly (can she make more than one face?!)
• GMB
• tex-mex
• Nordstrom Rack
• skinny eyebrows
• Myspace
• going out on Friday nights (I am always too tired...)

That's a pretty good assessment. Have fun tonight and watch out for drunks on the road.

My Christmas gift to you...

For whatever reason, it won't let me put the video on here, but follow this link for 20 seconds of fabulousness!!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=crpKtW3iXuk

I hope everyone had a fabulous Christmas...

And to end the year in a way that warms my heart, here it is, my list of the "Fashion Mistakes of the Year." I tried to condense it to a nice round number, like 10, but that didn't happen. A few extras slipped in, but I think they really earned it! So, here we go, in no particular order:

FMOTY 2007

Starting off with a bang, the I'm-sorry-to-say-"Disgusting"Jennifer Connelly. She can't act, and she really can't dress. You have seen these shoes on my blog before... I titled the image "hellonearth.jpeg"

Gold leggings. Need I say more?Oh, Bjork. .. I love your music, but perhaps you could have use for those gold leggings above at your next show? Umm... you look like an alien. Heidi Klum. I'll spare you a wisecrack about this one.Brit, by the look on your face I think you have figured out that this is a shirt, not a dress. Maybe you should get some gold leggings, too. They would actually be an improvement. Wait... did I just say that "leggings would be an improvement?"In my opinion, "American Apparel" is run by the devil (CEO), with CFO Hillary Clinton, and COO Tara Reid. The Triumvirate of Evil. (That's where you can get those gold leggings, too, if you're interested.). Britney, while you may be listed at the hotel under "Willie Wonka," you don't actually have to dress in character! Silly!This onesie/diaper/Orlandian-octogenarian/marshmallow suit somehow clashes with her 5 cent hooker shoes... Why are you so pleased with yourself? You just made me throw up a little. Now we all know what to wear if Battlestar Gallactica ever docks on a really tropical planet with a dress-code that details never showing the leg above the ankle.And no 'worst-dressed' list would be complete without Sienna Miller. Or, umm, random homeless person the paparazzi thought was Sienn-- wait, nope, that's her, alright.This is Miss Poland or something. I think she'd be better off in an ice-dancing competition in that get-up.Sorry, Mischa. I am thumbs-down on super-high-waisted pants in general. It's nothing personal. I also don't like big baggy tee-shirts as outfits. Or those flats with those jeans. If you must wear those jeans, you should be wearing heels , or something. The whole thing just makes me uncomfortable, okay?She's pretty cute, until...Oh... The horror! The horror!
J.Lo, don't you know the cardinal rule of fashion? If you are wearing something super-full on top, you shouldn't wear something super-full on bottom. (And visa-versa.) If you do, you are forced to stand in strange poses all day long to emphasize the fact that you are not all super-full yourself. See? Aren't your arms getting tired already?

Lame' pantsuit. Or, um, lame pantsuit. Bai Ling never disappoints.

This is my very favorite FMOTY. Not only because I don't like J. Simp. But because I think it is actually the worst look ever. I could catalogue all the problems of this look for you, but I won't. A picture paints a thousand words. I will tell you it was my screen-saver for a long time, leading to minutes, if not hours, of very satisfactory, very loud, guffawing laughter (not unlike that of Julia Roberts, in every movie since "Pretty Woman," and on previews of "Charlie Wilson's War:" "HUUHH, HUUHHH, CHAHHR-LIE!")

*Sorry if some of these are repeats... Most of the pics are from my favorite website: gofugyourself.com. It is so funny! There are many, many more awesome fashion mistakes on there, I definitely recommend a quick peek. These are just my personal faves from 2007.

Adrien Brody

I love you.

* Hollywoodland: you are even charming as a kind of gross P.I. and your acting is fabulous, even though you share the movie with the undisputed Captain of Stink, Ben Affleck.
* The Darjeeling Limited: you are so sweet and tender, and your pink shorts rock.
* The Pianist: I haven't seen it yet, but in 2002 you were the youngest actor ever to win the Academy Award for "best actor."
* Your face is SO expressive. You certainly aren't GEC, but are handsome in a very unconventional way.

Done with work!

Well, at least until after Christmas! Now I can officially get in the Christmas spirit!
One little story from my last shift:
A guy was returning three items. I asked if they were opened or used at all.
"No," he replied, "they were going to be gifts, but then we decided we don't like the people we got them for. So we aren't going to give them anymore."
I couldn't help but laugh. How funny is that? It's just Scrooge-y enough to be fabulous!
Basically, he made my day.

One is the lonliest number

Only one more shift! Can you believe it? It will be the most horrific shift on the year, perhaps, but at least it is the last! (Well, the last before Christmas!)

More quotes (these aren't expected to change your life so much as make you laugh...)

Guy: On a scale on one to ten, how happy would you say you are?
Monk: I'm a ten.
Girl: Ten is the highest.
Monk: Oh, then zero.

"The age that cannot be spoken"

Thanks for voting!
So, my birthday will include a new pair of shoes, sushi, an indie film, and friends. Oh, and I won't lie about my age (well, aside from my "25" cake!).
I was happy to have a whole 13 votes this time, almost 50% more votes than last time! You love me, you really love me! Booyeah.

Umm, gross.

This guy's belly hair distracts me so much I can't even be bothered by those two other idiots.

...Actually, I've got it in me after all: "Aren't we all such pretty girly-men?"

Good news! Part II

Only two more shifts before Christmas!
The bad news is: impatient/unbelievably rude alien customers are making it very difficult to reach my goal of 'no more swearing.'

The most gorgeous commercial ever

This commercial is so fabulous. It makes me actually LIKE romance. Plus, it features my favorite classical song ever, Claire De Lune.

Three more shifts!

Joan (my co-worker, sweet lady) to lady who just walked up: I'll be with you in just a moment (she was finishing writing a transaction down real quick)

lady (snippy): Well, I don't have a minute. 'Tis the season.

me (horrified look on my face, and unfortunately not out loud): ...to be grouchy, right?

Merry Christmas!

In celebration of only having to work four more times before Christmas, and taking into account that had I mailed out cards this year, you would probably have them by today...

HO HO HO
and Jingle Jingle,
Here I am,
And I'm still single!

(A Christmas card for you because I know that just because I am single doesn't mean you don't want a picture of me. Maybe next year you will get one in real life, like in the mail... That will be a festivus miracle!)

Photo Montage

For the friends who have said they like fun pics of goings-on, here's an idea of what I've been up to/who I've been hanging out with in Dallas so far...
Random descriptions (for some reason, I cannot format this correctly!! They do, however, kind of correspond...)
1) High school friends Amber and Krissy / Candice and me at Chuy's for fabulous Mexican food
2) Georgia's band, Lost Letters to Santa / Walter, the cutest dog ever!
3) Gerry and Leslie at Georgia's b-day party / Jason Botts, hot Texas Ranger
4) My dad, Randy Soprano / out with girls from work, Dana, Alexis, and Marilyn
5) Walter and Jojo at Georgia's b-day party / Georgia with our idea of "the perfect dress... not!"
6) Jojo's "romantic" picture / out with girls from work... can you tell which shoes are mine?
7) Two of the very few attractive guys from church, Pauly and David / Halloween antics
8) Game night (the winning team, holla!) / Bob at family bowling (don't ask...)
9) Mom, me, and my sisters at LLTS show / KerDal's engagement party

Observed during Christmas shopping...

Riddle me this... How does a store called "Conn's" stay in business?

You know, because their name sounds like "cons"? Please tell me you got that on your own.

I sure am quotey lately...

Charlie: Dad, how can you hate the Colonial?
Charlie's Dad: (with a Scottish accent) "Because he puts an addictive chemical in his chicken that makes you crave it fortnightly, smart-a**!
-"So I married an Axe Murderer"

Bee 1: Isn't John Travolta a pilot?
Bee 2: Yes.
Bee 1: Then how hard can it be?
- "The Bee Movie" (the one funny part)

Sally: (crying) And I'm gonna be 40...
Harry: When?
Sally: Someday...
Harry: In eight years...
-"When Harry met Sally"

"J Simp as bad luck charm" or "Cowboys' hex"

So, my family has a theory that the presence of Tony Romo's girlfriend-of-the-day makes the Cowboys lose. Thanks a lot, Jessica.

Your evil dominion is complete.

I like this, esp. huring the holidays

"Don't let your happenings destroy your happiness."

- Jojo, "Run's House" (not sure where he got it)

Christmas Card Part 1 of 2

Jennie, my hilarious BFF from BYU, college roommate, and my friend with the most spontaneous kids (she had triplets) sent me this today, thus rounding out the day that leaves me only FIVE shifts before Christmas.Yes, that is an inside joke. But, who doesn't appreciate a skeleton in a Santa hat?
Tonight in West Village, I saw a group of like 20 young, apparently cool people standing at a stop-light all wearing full Santa suits. It was awesome. And, as occurs often, I was obligated to say under my breath, "where's my camera when I need it?"
PS: I know it's Friday night. I did get invited to do stuff. But I am too tired after the crazy bad alien-customer filled week. So, after shopping in West Village, I retired and am now wearing fleece p.j. pants. Feeling good. Doing nothing. Perfection.

Words of SATC wisdom

"They said 'Single and Fabulous (exclamation point),' they did not say 'Single and Fabulous (question mark)'? I would never have agreed to it if I thought it was going to be 'Single and Fabulous (question mark).'"
-Carrie after being on the cover of a magazine with the headline "Single and Fabulous?"

Girl, I know how you feel. I am Single and Fabulous (exclamation point)! Get used to it, mormons.

Ju-know I love it!

So rad! Such a funny film, with truly touching characters! My favorite, as usual (well, when he's in stuff), is George Michael (Michael Cera). He is always such a tender guy. Plus, his short-shorts rock!
The dialog is fresh and funny. The characters are just weird enough to be real. The soundtrack is awesome, too. Can't wait to see it again.
4.75 stars on a 5 star scale (and that's saying a lot)!
(A special "thank-you" to Candice for the free passes! Girl, you rock!)

Are you Mo?

So, according to the very reliable sources at "Flixter," Ryan Gosling is Mormon.
Awesome, that's one less hurdle for our pending relationship.
But, can he dance?

Less depressing than the last post...

My fabulous friend Candice has recommended the movie "The Great Debaters" on her blog, starring Denzel Washington. This reminded me of this story I read a while back.
Now, I don't really like very many famous people. Mostly they are scrubs, creeps, and jerks. But a few stand out as actual good people, and I think Denzel is one.
Basically, the story goes that he was visiting Brooks Army Medical Center, where troops, especially burn victims, are hospitalized. "Fisher houses," hotels for the soldiers' families to stay at little or no cost, surround the hospital. They are usually full. Denzel got to tour one of the "Fisher houses," and asked how much it costs to build one. He then wrote a check for the full amount on the spot. What a good guy. I always liked his acting, and this makes me like him even more, perfectly symmetrical features and all.

Get this:

I saw "The Golden Compass" the other night. It's only okay. The bears were cute, I like Sam Elliott, and Nicole Kidman wears at least one stunning outfit, but I was way annoyed by the cliff-hanger ending and general story. I mean, "dust?" "Dust" being something that is forbidden to talk about? Huh?
Overall, I dislike movies like this. I wouldn't see "Narnia," and generally, I would rather cut off my right arm rather than see any of these "fantasy" or "fairy tale" or "mystical" or whatever type flicks (but, it was a date-type-thing, so what can you do?) However, follows is some info I saw on Facebook today:

"THE GOLDEN COMPASS, a new movie targeted at children, will be released
December 7, 2007. This movie is based on a the first book of a trilogy
by atheist Philip Pullman. In the final book a boy and girl kill God
so they can do as they please. Pullman left little doubt about his
intentions when he said in a 2003 interview that 'My books are about
killing God.'
The movie is a watered down version of the first book and is designed
to be very attractive in the hope unsuspecting parents will take their
children to see the the movie and that the children will want the
books for Christmas.
The movie has a well known cast, including Nicole Kidman, Daniel Craig,
and Sam Elliott. It will probably be advertised extensively, so it is
crucial that we get the word out to warn people to avoid this movie."

Is that scary or what? I wonder how, in our society (where pretty much every political candidate is quite rooted in one or another Christian belief system, and The People are using those beliefs as a measuring stick... I mean, I read an article called "Vote for God 2008") they will get away with the third part in the trilogy. They will really have to ignore or avoid the story's actual premise to have that fly. And, what the heck was Nicole Kidman thinking, getting involved in something that is sure to be controversial to such an extent I predict it will be detrimental to her career? In America, it's one thing to distribute a sex tape of you and your husband ("Eyes Wide Shut"), or even you and some random loser (Paris Hilton), but it's quite another to support a story about "killing God." Hello, "In God We Trust," muthas.

Oh, my gosh.

I miscalculated. Seven more shifts as of today. Booo.
Pity me.
Oh yeah, and in case you were wondering, "no poncho is a nice poncho." Unless you're this guy:

Monkey face

Alicia, your hubbie's pic reminded me of this. And, uh, not to be a bragger, or anything, but, umm... I think I look more like a monkey then he did. Sorry.
Uh, his is really good too.

(You get that I'm totally kidding, right? I actually don't think looking this much like a monkey is necessarily a good thing. So far, my "monkey face" hasn't gotten me any dates, or raises. Wonder why that is... Although it did play a small role in my graduating from college.)

Good news!

I like this cat.
And
only seven more shifts before Christmas!
Hoorah!

A nice gray day...

I love a nice gray day. As some of you may know, if it's sunny when I wake up in the morning, I get a bit depressed. Today, the light in my window was conducive to laying in bed until noon, snuggling in the blankets and watching a re-run of "What Not to Wear." And, as an aside, I swear if Clinton Kelly were strait, I'd marry him. Yeah, because his sexual orientation is the only thing that makes that impossible...

Anywho, today I don't have to work until 4:15. Weird time, right? Whatev, I'll happily take a short shift. As everyone knows, the holidays are killing me softly. Okay, so last night, getting ready for bed, I had the best intentions for today. Which follow:

• laundry, at least three loads which have been piling up
• clean bathroom: it's dirty. Not so much Christina Aguilera dirty at this point. It has progressed to Britney dirty. That's bad.
• email people about job openings, esp. tv production and publishing
  
• write letter of intent about management position at my current place of employment
• call the bank to set up yet another savings account
  
• go to Target for necessities and frivolities

What I am actually going to do/have accomplished so far:

• sleep in extremely late due to a Nyquil-induced coma
• watch WNTW
• get ready for the day at an extremely slow pace
  
• type this blog about my shortcomings and perhaps justifiable laziness
• eat sushi
• one load of laundry (if I'm either lucky or feeling industrious)
• call my friend Molly to say 'happy birthday' and 'didn't you just have a baby? how's that going?'

So, there you have it. Sometimes, I just throw caution to the wind and scrap my to-do list. Livin' on the edge, I tell you. Living Dangerously.