The church-lady. That's me.

Church was very colorful yesterday...
First of all, a guy was wearing Teva mandles with his dress slacks. I've said it before, and I'll say it again, if I have to wear a dress and high heels (and we all know I can't wear flats with a dress unless I want to look stumpy) then YOU can be bothered to wear real shoes, guys.
I can only imagine his apartment burned to the ground and those were the only shoes he managed to salvage. Which is surprising, being near an open flame, I would predict that those rubber monstrosities would be the first things to melt. (aside: Sorry, Dalles, I warned you it would be the same joke...)
The highlight of my church experience is, well, just fabulous. Wait for it...
Cute little Kerry was sitting next to me, with our new (mantastic) friend Dalles on the other side of her. Dalles had his arm on the back of the bench, behind Kerry, which seems insignificant now, but won't in a minute. (You have to picture it in your mind, or this just won't work.) Another guy walked up behind Kerry after the lesson and put his hand on her shoulder, to get her attention. Then basically Kerry, seemingly repulsed, starts leaning forward, forward, forward, until she could practically touch the floor if she tried.
After a serious moment of this, Kerry realizes someone was trying to get her attention. Then, she admits that she had thought it was Dalles' hand on her shoulder. They had just met, and I can only imagine she was thinking, "this guy moves fast." Apparently, there was also some back-scratching going on that Dalles and I were not aware of.
Okay, I don't know if I did it justice. I doubt it. It was just hilarious that not only was she doing everything possible to get away from that hand on her back, but she thought it was him. (As he said, "go, go, gadget arm!")
At least she set herself apart from all those other girls who would love to have Dalles' handsome hand on their back! Love ya, Kerry!
Oh, and the last thing, I realized that I should probably just join a convent. If only it didn't require catholicism (not that there's anything wrong with that).