As I age, I realize I don't want to anymore.
So, here is the question: Do I
a) age gracefully, take the Audrey Hepburn route. Knowing I will always look young for my age (my genetic pool is fabulous for this one-- thanks mommy!), and can amaze people with my youthful glow, and make other women my age jealous. Keep slathering on the sunscreen.
or
b) LIE. My cake this year is going to say "25," really big. No one will question me. I really feel that if there is one thing a woman is not only allowed, but expected, to lie about, it's her age. And, I have a REAL problem with the age I'm about to turn (simply because it sounds SO OLD to me). I have an actual physical aversion to forming the words with my mouth.
(And, let's be honest, I will be EVEN MORE a scourge according to the people in the society I associate with... [like Kerry mentioned on her blog, a "menace to society"]. They would rather me be dead than single at that age, I mean, "what's wrong with that girl? Obviously, she is the least attractive, worst cook ever! Should we invite her over after church for a casserole with our perfect family (of too many children who smell of dirt and fruit snacks) that we started at 21?"--I would like to make it clear that that is how THEY feel about me, I don't feel that way about myself. I'm fabulous. And, hey, I can make toast, so there.)
So, anyway, I am faced with a decision about how to age. And it needs to be fast, because if I'm gonna start lying, I need to clear up some "misconceptions" and start planting the seeds of 25 now. I can pull it off. Do I want to? Or should I just become an "old lady?"
4 comments:
Lovin' the shout out to a previous post of mine. Thanks, yo! Also, the "smelling like fruit snacks and dirt" comment had me laughing at loud!! Maigs = hilarious, as always.
PS: I kind of hate that we just might have to stop mingling with the Mormons so that we can feel younger and normal. Sad.
I echo Kerry's words. I also would like to add that you could do both a & b. I'm going with the Audrey Hepburn route, since thankfully, I cannot be over 20! Also, my neighbor told me last night that he thought I was 25, 26 tops, Love it!
Um, I am also in this same conundrum. And I have had THE birthday, but still have not decided which route to go. So when people ask how old I am, I go through some stupid explanatory story of how I am THE age that i am, and that it sucks, but I am learning to be okay with it, blah, blah, blah. Then some ridiculous whippersnapper of 21 or even 25 says something about how they can't wait till they are the age I am because then they will be so secure with themselves and grounded and blah blah blah. Yeah, yeah, wait till it hits you people!
So I really need to pick one of your options. Let me know which one you decide.
As long as none of the choices include being anything like Jane Fonda I am on board.
Post a Comment