- I used to wear head-to-toe black on Valentine's Day. Even my socks and underwear. Some of you already know that. I don't hate love, I just think that V-day is a big marketing ploy in general.
- Jim Gaffigan: "Who is Saint Valentine anyway? I can only assume he's the patron saint of overpriced greeting cards... You can get either the big read heart filled with the gamble chocolates ('OH! I got the one that's filled with toothpaste!') or the tiny chalk heart-shaped antacids ('I know I make you nauseous, here's a Tums with 'hug me' written on it.')"
- Referring to #1, I don't know if I've ever had a real boyfriend on Valentine's Day. Not anything that would guarantee a dinner date, anyway. Richard did bring me a dozen roses to school senior year, but felt so bad for all my non-flower-receiving girlfriends that he passed one out to each of us. That was sweet, but I was like, 'I want my dang roses!' Anyway, this year I actually do have a boyfriend, so it's kind of like we have all slipped into some sort of alternate universe. I have to admit, it's kind of fun to not be celebrating 'Single Awareness Day' this year.
- My favorite Valentine's poem I ever gave anyone: "Roses are red, violets are blue, if you don't ask me out soon, I'll have to keep dating chumps." I made that up. I really like it. I need to come up with a good "roses are red" poem this year. They are my favorite kind. If you are in a very serious relationship, feel free to use this one: "roses are red, violets are blue, if you don't propose soon, I'll find someone who will." Or, on a lighter note, "roses are red, violets are blue, under no circumstances are you to go commando." Someday, these poems will be greeting cards, which is why they exist at all.
One more: roses are red, violets are blue, don't even think about voting for Hillary.
I could go on like this all night.
I love you! XOXO! I know I make you nauseous, here's a Tums with 'hug me' written on it! Goodnight!
7 comments:
Roses are red, violets are blue I got a boy friend this valentines day, hope you do too (unless you are a guy or married or a guy who is married or a lesbian (see Hillary)).
You're too funny. As always.
I just have to say. . . that I LOVE VALENTINES DAY. . I have NEVER had a boyfriend on the actual day, or a real boyfriend for that matter ha ha ha ha! I think it is because my favorite color is pink- so tomorrow I have got to wear something major pink and red. . . ps, I need that irritating little twit on project runway to leave. . . the one that is very gay- which is totally great, but he is so rude!
His name is Christian. . ha ha
Tums with a hug? You absolutely kill me. I LOVE LOVE LOVE THAT!!! So true, I wonder why I never thought of that?
Happy Valentines Day!
Why do you crack me up so much, every time I get on your blog, I cant wait until Jeff gets home to show him how silly you are! I love you and I hope you got some lovin this Vday, and if not I hope you scared some people dressed in all black! I did know that about you btw!
Jana:
Christian is TOTALLY annoying, but unfortunately a pretty good designer. Bob:
Nice poem.
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