For lo these many moons, our downstairs neighbors ("punks!" or perhaps "wippersnappers!") have been eerily quiet...
A hush had fallen over their lier, we suspected death, or at least relocation. I has been a couple of months since their last real-live-movie-theater-experience, porch party, or all-night soire'. Alas, we spoke too soon.
So, all of a sudden, this week, they are not only alive and well but having nightly showings of what I can only assume is marathon of Jean Claude Van Damme action flicks at a decibel that we can feel in our feet. Boo! Boo! Maybe they are on spring break? Maybe they have returned from a long drug-run to, oh, I don't know, Wisconsin? Unlike the song, unfortunately they weren't "Gone 'Til November." (I don't actually think they are drug criminals, but thy certainly could used a nice haircut and shave, and maybe a spa-day.)
Add the movie guys below to the elephants above who also have knock-down-drag-out screaming fights with their girlfriends (I can understand every word, bucko), snore and/or vacuum at 3 a.m., and have a penchant for talking on a microphone into the wee hours (for no apparent reason, mind you, oh, and he also breathes heavily into the mic often); and we have quite a cast of creeps, jerks, and losers.
The mic guy is especially strange. Luckily for him, he lives above my sister. I guess I would understand if he were singing? But just talking? Into a microphone? And sometimes, it sounds like someone else is answering him (not on a mic), so what is it, some kind of power-trip? A "my voice is more important than yours" type of thing? ("Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain.")
This actually reminds me of 'Karaoke Guy,' who used to live below me in SLC. He would start up, usually at a random hour of the night, 12, 3, 5 7 (seemingly usually on an odd-numbered hour). And he would sing bad 80's songs. No, not the good ones. No "Love Bites." No "Foolish Beat." No "Making Love Out of Nothing at All." No "Beat It." Really crappy songs, like "That's the Way, Uh-huh, Uh-huh, I like It."
I went down there a couple of times out of desperation, always in pj's, my hair looking like the lead singer of the Goo-Goo Dolls (yeah, remember them?), scared the guy into submission for a couple of weeks. 'Karaoke Guy,' you were terrible. You were slightly unhinged. You look completely normal compared to "Microphone Guy.'
4 comments:
I have these weird upstairs neighbors that ALWAYS sound like they are moving in or moving out (one time it sounded like they were holding a couch and then just dropped it a foot from the ground right where my bedroom ceiling is). It happens at least once or twice a week. I have racked my brain for what on earth they could be doing. Nothin', I got nothin'. Today it was the same sounds, but what was even weirder was it sounded like they were pouring large amounts of water down the wall that has the drainage pipe for the washer, which is what I assumed it was, but since I've never heard it before, I was a little nervous and checked to make sure nothing was flooded. I'm good. But my neighbors are SAINTS compared to yours. Gee. I would've gone off by now.
I'm sorry to laugh at your pain, but that was really funny.
Oh, trust me I feel for you!! Being on the second floor is the worst. I swear when I build my own home someday the walls will have to be soundproofed!
I was telling the story of microphone man to a young man, he immediately knew what was going on. He is playing video games on line. I guess they use head sets and play war games or some such...makes sense.
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