This is what it's like out there, people...

An email I received from my hilarious b.f.f., Krissy:

"DATING STORIES FROM A 29 YEAR OLD SINGLE MORMON GIRL!

In the last year or so my family has become a little desperate for me to get married. I have decided that if anyone wants to set me up on a blind date, I would say yes. This pleases the family and provides me with free dinners. Seems like a win win situation, right? WRONG! As I have entered this blind dating world, I've discovered that people don't know me at all. And just because I'm older, this does NOT mean I am desperate!

Here is a perfect example; A girl from work wants to set me up with her husbands friend. Well the rule is I say yes, so I did. We decide to double so its not super awkward. We all meet for dinner at a place called MacCools. As I walk in I see my date, blond faux-hawk hair and a goatee with a pornstar mustache. He's dressed alright but I'm stressed out already. So we're introduced and immediately after he begins to tell me that he is a kung fu master. The more he talks I realized I am on a date with a 'Dungeons and Dragons' nerd!

Now the rule of the date was dinner only, nothing after. So I make it through dinner after many discussions about computer games and how to advance to the next portal, and what happened in this room and which switch did you turn on, etc! I think I am home free, but no, I am cornered into going back to their place for brownies. Well since I car-pooled with the married couple, I feel I need to go with my date so he doesn't ride alone. As he opens the car door for me he says 'Don't mind my weapons.' In the front seat is a sword plus those long stick things they swing around and even more weapons are in the back. He later tells me (as I am seated next to the sword) he usually only has one weapon in the car at a time. But tonight he had his whole arsenal in the car. I am on a date with a guy who owns a sword!!

We eat brownies and talk more of different dimensions that can be achieved, with many awkward pauses in between. So I decide to tell them a funny story to get them laughing, then make my escape. My date walks me out and I tell him thanks you and give him a hug. Then I say 'Well, see you around.' But he doesn't get the hint and says 'Really! Well what kind of music are you into?' And proceeded to ask me out for the next weekend. I don't know how to get out of it, so yeah, I say maybe. Then he goes to give me a side hug and then I realize he's going in for a kiss! EEEW!! I dodge, then say goodnight and run!

This could be one of the most memorable dates I've been on, but not for good reasons. But who can say they have been out with a kung fu master with a sword, I can!"

Wow, poor Kris! I feel you, girl! I think we've all had our fair share of freaks and geeks by now, but this one really is up there! No wonder we're still single!
Oh, and be ready for me to start saying "don't mind my weapons" on a regular basis! That is totally going in the rotation!