When your SunChips actually drop from the vending machine, isn't it always like it's a little miracle? Like you've been chosen.
And here's a little non-miracle: It's like someone has put a hex on the left side of my face. I have broken out, just on the left chin/lower cheek area. It's like I have a pox.
Last night I had a dream that well, after someone was trying to murder me, I laid down and took a nap. I dreampt about taking a nap. That's how tired I've been since Daylight Saving Time.
And, from my friend Melanie's blog http://hiccupmel.blogspot.com/2008/03/im-just-flabbergasted.html:
... an article she found on CNN today.
The story highlights for the article state:
- 35-year-old woman's skin had grown around the lid of the toilet, police say
- Official: Toilet seat had to be pried off her body, seat went with her to hospital
- Boyfriend claims he bought food, water to girlfriend who refused to leave bathroom
- Police found woman with pants at mid-thigh, disoriented, legs atrophied
Not only is it very sad...but, I am in shock that this type of thing could happen and no one else would know about it!!!!"
I don't think that link works, by the way, so you'll have to go to her blog if you want to read the article. Frankly, the highlights made me throw up a little.
Anywho, to that post, I had to say (I know, it's terrible): "Umm... THIS lady has a boyfriend, and I'M single*?!" I know, I'm insensitive. But, I mean, really? A toilet seat attached to her A and she has a "boyfriend?" I know I can be obnoxious, and I need to lose a few fluffy pounds, oh, yeah, and I have a face hex, but a TOILET SEAT, people!
*My standard disclaimer: I am okay being single. People, I like it. Sure, I'd like to meet the right guy, but this is meant to be funny, not desperate.
5 comments:
Is a toilet seat ingrown to someone's rear bad? As long as she had the right clothes to make it a positive. Oh yeah and by the way, I am sure the boy friend that would stand by and enable someone in that position is a real winner.
Again, you have the power to make me laugh out loud at my desk. I love that about your blog! And, one of my co-workers is now an avid fan and reads it every day! :)
I agree about the boyfriend thing... If all you have to do to keep one is sit on the throne for two years, what the heck??
I think the toilet needs to be revolutionized, and pretty much the whole bathroom stall. There is so much opportunity for growth and expansion in todays stalls and whole bathroom environment. I appreciate the invent of the T.V. above the urinal, to save from akward glances of people to your left and right, if by chance you find yourself in the uncomfortable middle stall (men nod in agreement, women: stay in the dark). I think this women had the right idea, go to bathroom and all your problems will be solved. If it seems like I am rambling on and on, it is because I am. I wrote this bit over in breaks, so it is very disjointed. Oh well.
Sick, sick, sick, sick and gag! How is it even possible for skin to grow over the toliet seat like that? How long was she sitting there exactly, 500 years?
Ha ha, you guys are so funny! I love everyone's unique spin on the toilet thing!
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