Dearest Wells Fargo,
Why must you insist on being such a very large pain in my a? What have I ever done to you? When I bring you my tax return, a cashier's check from a well-known company, why can't you cash it and we can all move on with our lives? (Oh, I am sure it is because it will probably bounce. Yes, HSBC and Jackson Hewitt are just so unreliable with their money, like a college freshman with a new credit card!)
Okay, so I don't have an extra two grand just sitting there waiting to back up this diabolically risky check, it's best you go ahead and hold onto my money for about five business days. Yes, we all feel so much better now.
Oh, and to the girl who suggested I "just deposit more money so your monthly average is higher" I say, "Oh why didn't I think of that! I'll just deposit more money! I'll just put more of this extra money (that doesn't exist) that I'm hoarding in my mattress into the bank! Brilliant! Why, you are a witchy woman!"
So, to my sweet bank and the love of my life, I say "go to hell!" I am sure your old-fashioned stagecoach can take you there quite swiftly.
Love,
Me
3 comments:
I love laughing out loud when I'm on my computer. It's a moment when you know true humor exists when no one is around to hear it. Did I really make a sound??
There's a reason that when I worked for that *^%&@! company, I called it Hells Fargo. I think you should find a good credit union. Do they have those in Texas?
Yes. Yes. Yes. Amen!
When I moved to TX, I opened a WF account because they were 1) close to my house, 2) had branches in Utah and New York (where I anticipated living next at the time).
Before moving to TX, I used an AWESOME credit union. I loved my credit union, and luckily I still have my account at the credit union! And I'm so glad. I've never been charged a fee in my life. Even when I lived in 'overdraft' mode. Never once.
Wells Fargo charges me a fee every time I sneeze.
Also, what's up with having to write my account number on the backs of checks I want to deposit. You have 2 forms of ID from me, my ATM/Check card, and my signature on the back of the check. What more can I do for you.
I just make all my deposits at the ATM now so I don't have to deal with the humans.
I'm joining a credit union again ASAP.
Speak it sista! I hate the Fargo. We were with them for a while and I have not been happier since switching to Wamu.
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